Moving....

It took some thought about this, and well I have decided to move my lovely personal blog to wordpress.com. It is not that I did not like blogger.com, it just felt that since I had all my blogs on wordpress.com it seem naturally to want my personal blog there too. Also, it seems to me to have a better way of sharing entries instantly and I do not have to remember to re-post the links. I hope that everyone is alright with this. Here is the new blog site: 

My Personal Blog

Much thanks and God bless,

Ms. Nikita, OP

NEWS FROM SPIRIT DAILY

NEWS FROM SPIRIT DAILY

This is from Bishop Campbell of the Diocese of Columbus

Thinking

Have I ever mentioned I think Belle and Rapunzel remind me a lot of myself or really, especially at the beginning of each their stories. I am bored and feel that all I have is my job to look forward to. It makes me cry. I hate how my life is, where I literally feel like a burden and I feel like I bore people because frankly I have nothing to offer. Loneliness is my disease and I cannot find that cure.

Right now I have been thinking of turning off my phone because there is no point of looking at it and face those whom I would love to see are out and about doing what they need to do today.

Lock myself in my room might be another option. This bump in my life is more like a mountain and I cannot go through it or around or even under, I have to keep the course of this mountain-like bump in my life and personally, I am always wondering when will my LIFE begin. Even my poor books are not helping.

On another note the only thing I have been thinking about is switching this personal blog to wordpress.com, I have three blogs over there and find I like the software and it is easier to connect to social networks. Added bonus, it seems there is a better amount of an audience there who would read my thoughts. Hopefully in another few days, there will be a post here letting you all know my decision on this and link you to the new blog, if it comes down to I will do that.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

March for Life Trip

I want to first apologize for not writing in my blog as often as I promised. There are just days where thoughts will not form onto the screen. Plus, I hate to complain and vent only with each entry. For those who read this blog, thank you for sticking around. Personally, I have no idea why people read this blog, but thank you either way.

This past weekend Camille and I went to the March for Life 2012 in Washington DC. We left on Friday because I, myself cannot go to DC without visiting the museum and visiting my boys (I will explain that later). We were worried that the trip getting there would be a little difficult because of the snow storm that passed through, but alas with God’s wonderful Love and a lot of salt trucks it was a decent drive.

So for the first two days we spent touring DC area, Friday was touring what we could of Alexandria, Virginia which if anyone gets the chance, go visit Alexandria, beautiful “Old Town” is just an amazing place to be. We decided while on this trip to visit at least one local restaurant and it was in Alexandria that we found a great joint.

It is called Bugsy’s Restrurant and Sports Bar. I highly recommend the place if you are in the DC area. Plus, I will post more about it in my ‘Local Eats’ blog. After eating and touring the city of Alexandria, Camille and I headed off to our hotel.

It was on Sunday that started the March for Life events, with the Vigil Mass for Life at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. You actually got good seats, in the middle section in the Upper Church. One of the biggest things about this Vigil Mass is you have to get there EARLY, because it reaches the limits of maybe 5,000-10,000+ people cramming in to be participate of this Mass. And you have to wait awhile, about five hours+ until the Mass even begins.

It was beautiful to see so many young people (young teenagers to around my age) participating in this Vigil, but also standing for LIFE, from conception to natural death. Right before the Mass began I found, well Camille found them first was a religious community whom are from the Central Ohio area. The Children of Mary, is a very contemplative community. They are small community, but growing, hailing from Newark, Ohio. Camille and I were able to provide them seats with us. So, I finally knew someone at the National Shrine, whom I knew I could talk to.

Also whom we met at the Vigil was Teresa Tomeo, a radio talk show host, but also author of “Extreme Makeover” a book on how women are victimized by culture and how to conform to Christ. I had met her briefly at the Columbus Catholic Women’s Conference, but because she was a main speaker, a lot of women wished to meet her and so, I never really spoke that much to her. But, on Sunday she was at the National Shrine signing books (which I forgot mine at home in Columbus), but she was kind enough to take a picture with Camille and I.

When Mass finally began the procession itself took either almost or over thirty minutes with all the Seminarians, Religious Novices, Deacons, Priests, Bishops, and Archbishops. It was long, but how AMAZING and WONDERFUL it was to experience. The homilist was His Eminence, Daniel Cardinal DiNardo, the Archbishop of Galveston-Huston; his homily was beautiful and direct on why we were there, to protect LIFE, to give a voice to those who are voiceless.

Camille and I finally left from the hotel and got back about 11pm. The next morning was to be the big day, to practice our rights to protest. We were told it would be thunderstorms on the day of the March. But, I knew from the past experiences that I have come to the March, thunderstorms would not stop us from marching up to the Supreme Court. But, what happens it rains for a little bit, but no thunderstorms. That did not happen until when Camille and I were leaving DC area.

We decided to stick around the Dominican Friars, since one Camille and I were representing the Lay Dominican St. Catherine of Siena chapter at the March, but also because we were hoping to meet up with Saint Patrick’s Parish and Fr. Gregory said they would be around the Dominican Friars. I like marching with the Dominican Friars, the one year I went alone, I had no idea who anyone was and felt that it was my family I wanted to be around as I marched, so I found the Friars.

As the March finally began I was excited, and joyful to be a voice for LIFE. One thing I can tell you about this protest, there is no anger that I ever felt when marching, no I feel joy and when I march. The news media doesn’t want happiness they want anger, they (media) is up for a buzz of HATRED, this MARCH is for LOVE!

It is difficult to explain my feelings and thoughts while on the March, but I think sometimes pictures speak my voice and all those who came to the March this year.

God Bless,

Ms. Nikita, OP

How Can I Object?

I was given the good news that my great-uncle breathing was taken out and now he can talk. It such a great bit of news and thank the Lord for that. I will be unable to visit him today because of work, but I am glad Granny will be going to see him. She has worried over him so much and rightly so, it is her son.

So, what is with the title of this entry? This whole week I have been given the gift of having my best friend, sister, and godmother with me at the house. I knew it would end where she would not be here anymore. I was reminded of what it was like to have support at home and now it is time to let go again.

Most would consider that selfish, I regret to say, I know that. So, that means tomorrow she is leaving or even tonight, I have no clue. I know I have no right to object; she needs to go back to her family, to her own bed, to her own life before this whole week began. And I need to go back to mine.

She texted me earlier before I wrote this entry and asked what was wrong, she said in one of her texts that she thinks I am getting upset about her going home tomorrow. I responded the way I need to respond, that how could I object, if I did I would think I was nothing but selfish. How truthful I was because I would love to object, wishing to keep my friend and sister with me longer, have a companion at home to talk about things, to feel that comfort when I need it.

I know that others would say that I have a future HUSBAND who can do that, but remember until we are married he cannot live with me; he cannot stay the nights and hold me and talk to me or let me cry myself to sleep. I have two dear friends and those two have lives, one will merge with mine as soon as a date is provided, but the other, well has their own life to live.

I know I have been writing very depressing posts, hopefully after this week that will change. But, suffering is ever part of my journey to the Lord. I only hope that joy will join that journey too.

God Bless,

Ms. Nikita, OP

Snow begins

As those from 20s Group were leaving St. Patrick's to go to Tommy's we recieved a nice surprise (well I consider it a surprise) it began to snow. That really helped lighten the mood, but also the situations.

Finally making it to Tommy's which was the 20s Group first time meeting there. It was fun actually and I can say even with the snow we got there at a good time and left at 9:21pm, I believe.

It was when leaving Tommy's that Eileen and Camille began a little snowball fight with what snow they could pack together. Us three girls were laughing, I was actually laughing.

Thank you Lord for the snow!

It is 8:23am and it is snowing still, but it is to be stopping soon. My area probably got about maybe two inches or three. Which is not at all bad and it looks for my area the city really salted the roads well. So, everyone from Ohio please be safe driving, just remember give yourself time.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

The Devil taunts you as you are vulnerable

For the past few days I have allowed my stress to take over my emotions, which I am so vulnerable and I snap so easily when that happens. Sometimes, I feel as Camille will confirm and many of the other readers of my blog, the devil taunts you while you are most vulnerable.

What I normally do when I am stressed is I try to dive into another activity. I am similar to my Daddy (who I consider a workaholic). But, sometimes I become too involve, such as noticing what could be changed with something, and many would get annoyed by my constant complaints. It is a fault I know I have and certainly that is what normally doesn't help me, but I somehow mentally do it anyways.

Many times I find myself thinking I am a burden to those who are around me and I will do everything in my power to push myself away from them. I did that early Wednesday morning until literally I feel after Holy Hour. I pushed most especially from Camille who I felt I was burdening the most with my venting. For she is staying at my house until Darrell is out of danger (pretty much until pneumonia is gone and he is out of ICU).

All of Wednesday I felt like I was going back to the way I was before I met Camille and that is not good, I never liked that "me" at all. I am trying so hard to break down walls and I am unconsciously building them, because I am so comfortable to that "me" that had to protect the weak and emotional Kita.

Another person who was hurt by this was my fiance, JR who just wants to make all things right for me. He wishes to be my hero, how badly I pushed him away, even though I was mentally telling myself, 'no, please I need him'. I wanted JR and Camille not push them away.

Yesterday, as a part of trying to getting better JR took me out to lunch and then we headed over to his house, his efforts, well the best he could and I feel I just kept pushing. It was good and bad experience of being away from the house. I finally saw my great-uncle at SICU, but I want to complain about one thing, I really dislike when VP or Presidents come into town, they make traffic suck when I want to get to the hospital. And of course poor JR had to deal with me. Lord, teach me patience. May only wish is that JR will forgive me. He seems to have, but I still hope he has.

My great-uncle has been opening his eyes, and even though he cannot talk because of the tubes, he is going baby steps forward and not backwards. I only saw him for almost forty-five minutes, but in those minutes I tell you I cried as much as he did. When he saw me he began to cry. I told him I was so sorry for being late. I held his hand the whole time. Before I officially left I did take JR back to see him. I felt bad I did not know that JR was in the waiting room for awhile as I back there.

We left the hospital and I was crying, or just plain depressed. JR was trying his best and what was bad I knew he was and I was embracing that my future HUSBAND was trying to comfort me. Oh how I hate how I allow myself to do stupid things.

JR and I arrived at St. Patrick's for Holy Hour. Though it was thirty minutes, it was thirty minutes of tears and clearing myself of who I was. As I was sitting there, I felt JR holding my hand and then Camille sat next to me (she was already there, but moved up to the front where I was) and she held my other. That is when I really cried because here I was trying to push people away, and these two were sticking by me. I looked up and as I stared at the Host in my tears I made a silent thank you.

One thing I will mention was when we began to sing "Holy God" hymn for the closing of Holy Hour, I allow my emotion to have my voice. Really I feel it was the Holy Spirit who was belting through the song. What I did not know was that Camille, Trevor (her boyfriend), and JR were stopping to listen to me. Trevor to whom I give him my up most thanks for being understandable tells JR that his girl (me) can really sing. I did not know what was said until afterwards in the car as we went to Tommy's Pizza.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP