St. Patrick's 20s Group

The Saint Patrick's Twenties Group ( Website ) in Columbus, Ohio has been gaining numbers, and that is a great thanks to those who have been spreading the great news of this wonderful group. Just last night over TWENTY people were at the meeting! That is great in the opinion of this CORE team member.

Last night was our Catechism Night where we break up into small groups and discuss a topic from the Catechism. The topic was the last four things: Death, Judgement (Particular and General), Heaven, and Hell; we seem to keep it light as many of the 20s Group members joked about, since last week's meeting was a Member Talk about the End of Life issue for Cancer Patients.

These past two meetings are a great way to prepare for the coming All Souls' Day, where we remember the poor souls of purgatory. Since we had three small groups I cannot tell you how the discussion went for the other two, yet I can tell you the group I was in really focused on purgatory and death, it does seem to be an issue among our brothers and sisters Protestants who believe in Heaven and Hell (or some do not even believe in Hell) only.

How do we as Catholics explain purgatory? When I was in RCIA one of the friars explained it to us that even though you confessed your sins there is still a stain from the sins you committed and so purgatory is like the washer; your garment is stained and now you have wash out the stains. "Those who die in Gods' grace and friendship imperfectly purified, although they are assured of their eternal salvation, undergo a purification after death, so as to achieve the holiness necessary to enter the joy of God." (CCC 1054) You cannot go anywhere special with dirty clothes, you would want to look your best, why not be that way when you meet God face to face.

As I mention the group I was in discussed not only purgatory, but death as well. The question prompted to us was this: Why do you think the catechism says that Christ "opened the possibility of salvation to all men" instead of that he opened Heaven to all? This brings up another issue among all Christians (Catholic and Non-Catholic); God wants all His children to be with him, so He does open it for all men, but it by our free will that we decide if we wish to be with our Father in Heaven or not. That is why it is only a possibility and not a free-all. (To which I think about the Gospel Study three weeks ago about the Wedding Invitation)

After the meeting about ten of us maybe went out to Boston's (a nice pizza/pub restaurant). One of the great things is I found another friend who I hope will love John and Abigail Adams as much as I do. I might have a Revolutionary War Lovers started sooner or later. (not really, but would it not be wonderful?)

Please if you are in the Columbus area and you are 18 (high-school graduate) to mid-thirties, stop on by and join us for a meeting!

God Bless,
Nikita 

Something I thought of while watching television

Many know that the paranormal is something I love, though I do not believe or feel the same as many in the field. I for one believe in the idea of a ghost being someone either in purgatory, reminding others to pray for their soul as they pray for ours and that some boil down to demons trying to make you believe they are innocent ghosts/spirits. Anyways, there is a group that I watch a lot because I like how they approach many of their cases.

TAPS or as many see on television "Ghost Hunters" are of the mindset that you must disprove a haunting. In turn that makes sense, you cannot just sit there watch a curtain moving and instantly say, "that was a ghost" when in actuality it was the vent system kicking in. So why am I wanting to write about this...well I was watching one of the episodes from 2010 and noticed something that bugged me a lot.

They were revealing to the client the evidence collected, but also letting the client know some things that could be explained if something like that happens again to look for. TAPS in my opinion has never sat there and said, "This is what really happened so those who experienced the event; they are liars or just stupid". No, they never experienced the event first-hand, but what they are trying to do is help so that people are not jumpy at ever creak.

Anyways, so they were explaining about a door shutting. Grant Wilson was explaining what he noticed about the door's location and the fact there is an open window inside the room. The client literally in my opinion sounded rude saying, "No, the door actually SLAMMED shut". First off, Grant was just giving you an alternative thing to think about if it happens again.

This client showed me something that I could not help but be peeved about. You cannot honestly sit there and believe every last bit of paranormal evidence out there because you want your place to considered haunted, and there are many who are like that. This person wasn't wanting to look at things with a logical thought, they wanted to know that their location was haunted.

I cannot stand that, but then again it is just like miracles, we wish to believe that when a person claims it was a miracle by a certain person who they asked to intercede for them; suddenly they are healed. I cannot say that I have not at one time fell into that, but there is something I want to explain.

The Church looks at miracles just like TAPS looks at a "haunted" location. We cannot just believe on a whim that something just happens in a miracle that could be explained in a logical manner. We must in turn look at miracles logical and try to disprove them and if the Church nor we its members can, than it is a miracle, just like with TAPS, until they cannot disprove the haunt will it be considered haunted.

I believe in miracles, but I believe them to be divine, where no science or logical explanation that be determined. For those who understand the pain-staking task of opening and moving a cause for person to Sainthood in the Catholic, knows the difficulties of miracles being proven. But, truly this post was for me to explain the lovely thing I noticed while watching "Ghost Hunters".

God Bless,
Nikita

PS: More updates soon!

Death and my vocation to the Dominican Laity

This morning while I was taking in the little Internet time I could get I read an entry from one of the blogs that helped me reflect something about myself. So please hopefully this entry will not seem weird or anything.

There are a few places I would love to be any day of the week, these places are: Mass, With my fiance, in a cozy place with a book, and a cemetery. Why a cemetery? It might sound weird for you all, but for me it is where I can pray for those who are forgotten and need the prayers to help them through purgatory, to help them pray for their loved ones who have not been able to accept their passing, and to ask them to pray for me.

My Catholic faith has been a big part of this love I have for the dead, for before I became Catholic, I hated death, I felt it was a punishment for me to have taken away those who I loved or others loved. But in actuality, God never wants us punished, no He wishes us to be with Him. In my opinion only, I believe God reminds us to turn to Him because all are His children and so we all will be together with Him.

Another big part is the Dominican Order, and this where a wonderful blog post by Br. Ambrose Mary Little, OP (To Die Like A Dominican), helped with this reflection, for study was not the only reason I felt the call to the Dominican Order. Prayer was a huge thing as well in my decision to join the Laity Order.

And because of this my determination to be an historian has a new meaning now, the dead are the gateways of understanding our past, and so it is my goal and wish that they never be forgotten, for they lived and loved as we do now.

If you ever wish to find me especially this coming month and next month, look for a cemetery, especially really old ones, and you might see a young woman with a rosary in hand rubbing the beads through her fingers, and that would be me.

God Bless,
Nikita

PS. I know this was an awful post, but it is really early and I just wanted to post this because it would not leave me be, sometimes I consider that the Holy Spirit telling me to share the fruits of my contemplation (Dominican Motto). Either way hopefully some of you will understand and maybe you might give some feedback of what you think of death.

Mary's Birthday and Life

Yesterday was the birthday of Mary, Mother of God. As Fr. Michael, OP said in his homily last night, "There are only three birthdays that the Church celebrates" and those three are: Jesus' Birthday, John the Baptist's Birthday, and Mary's. While the absolute important is our Lord and Savior's birthday, the other two are important as well.

To celebrate this joyous occasion the group I am apart of, Saint Patrick's Twenties Group decided to have a birthday party for Mary. So, after Mass (which is normally Adoration for the group) the group went to Patrick Hall to celebrate, with cake and ice cream. We had games and socializing, which I think next time I need to bring more board games for others to play. I think it truly was success for the group, a nice size came to the little meeting/party and I for once talked and socialize, which I lack the confidence for at times.

But, why celebrate this birthday, many would ask me or any practicing Catholic. There is always a simple answer for me, she is our spiritual Mother. I could not imagine not celebrating my own Mother's birthday. It is not to say how old they are really, for Mothers a birthday should be to honor their life and honor that they were born to birth us. But that would be my answer, others would have more in-depth answer and quite possibly I could have an in-depth answer, but I feel that a simple one does much justice.

As I mention in the post title, I was not only to write about Mary's Birthday, but also on how life is going for me. Life, sometimes I feel drained out of my wits and feel I am losing much of the ground I conquered in becoming a better person, I ask if anyone who reads this blog, please pray for me. I certainly need it, for I love the person I have become through wonders of understanding how much God's Love is for me.

Thank you and God bless,
Nikita

"Hail, Holy Queen" Briefly noted

For the past week, I have been reading "Hail, Holy Queen" by Scott Hahn, I was looking around Barnes&Noble and noticed this and it reminded me of the retreat I was at on July 31st with the Dominican Laity Chapter I am apart of. I am currently on page 127 in the book. To add a bonus, I suggested this to a book club group I am apart of (that consent of friends from Saint Patrick's Twenties Group) and so hopefully on the fourteenth of this month we will be discussing this book.

Why am I writing, well for the sake of writing, but also because I want to write about what I have been reading about Mary, Mother of God. It sounds funny that Mary is one of those issues that many protestants have beef more so than they do other things. I, coming from a background where religion was not really addressed in my household, I did not have a problem with the Virgin Mary being honored or deemed as my Mother.

"Hail, Holy Queen" is based on Scripture as the key defense of honoring Mary, but also adding historical reference by Early Christians and Church Fathers. "In truth, the Church gives her honor and veneration as the greatest of saints, while reserving adoration and worship for God alone" (Page 112) Examples of what many consider "worship of Mary" would be the following: The Rosary, considering her a Queen of Heaven.

The Rosary in retrospect is the easiest to defend, for the Rosary itself is the life of Jesus through His Mother's eyes, since she was with him from his conception. We say the words that the angel said to Mary when greeting her, "Hail, full of Grace" and what her cousin Elizabeth said, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb". Mary, guides us through her Son's life and helps us understand what He did for us, not just for her.

It is kind of like what I tell everyone about Mary's Window (The Moon, which I learned from my godmother). The moon does not have its own light source, no the Sun shines its light on the moon, and that is then reflected down towards Earth. Well, the Sun is Jesus, the Son and the moon is Mary. Jesus shines his saving Grace upon Mary who in turn shares and shines onto us.

The Queen of Heaven is something not only Scott Hahn discussed in his book, but Fr. Thomas, OP spoke of at the retreat. You see, in my cultures and most especially the Israelites culture the King ruled with his Mother, known as the Queen Mother. Mary is the Mother of Jesus, so if he is ruling the Kingdom of Heaven his Mother is with Him as Queen Mother. I would like to quote a few paragraphs in "Hail, Holy Queen":

"Consider the following scene from early in Solomon's reign: "So Bathsheba went to King Solomon, to speak to him on behalf of Adonijah. And the king rose to meet her, and bowed down to her; then he sat on his throne, and had a seat brought for the king's mother; and she sat on his right" (I Kgs 2:19)....First, his power and authority are in no way threatened by her. He bows to her, but he remains the monarch. She sits at his right hand, no vice versa....Mary approaches her son to intercede for the people--just as Bathsheba spoke to Solomon on behalf of Adonijah. Mary counsels her son about the matter at hand; yet she counsels others to obey Him and not her. Jesus, then, speaks to His mother as her superior; yet He defers to her suggestion." (Pages 80-83)

I truly believe Scott Hahn does an amazing job as far I have read of giving cause of the Church Teachings on Mary to be valid and honored by the faithful. I thought I should write briefly of what I was reading at the time and thought it would be nice to write something on my blog.

Until next time, God Bless,
Nikita

St. Dominic pray for me

Today was my interview for my first promises (used to be called vows) for the Lay Dominican St. Catherine of Siena Chapter. I have been waiting for this moment for a long while and cannot wait for December to roll around.

These interviews are really a great reflection for me. Not only to I let them know how being a part of the Dominican Family has a great influence on me, but in turn I learn what they have seen in me with their own observations. One of the major things I have learned within the Dominican family is a great joy in loving the Lord through all trials in my life and the most important apostolic work is those that deal with family.

Speaking about family just a few moments ago I called my Granny and she informed me on the condition of my Great-Uncle, who was sent back to the hospital, they found he has an infection and he is being cared for. I am really at a lost with this, but ask for many prayers for him and the family. Guess I need to find a way up there to the hospital in the few days before I leave for Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Why to Ann Arbor, Michigan? For the great reason that there professions of first and final vows for the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist (Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist ). I know the Sisters who are going to be professing their first vows. It is so exciting to experience their vows. I know they will be happy to see not only me, but Camille as well.

Anyways, back to today so after my interview, my dear friend and sister in the Lay Dominicans, Emily took me to lunch at a new place called Milestone 229 and what a place. It has a great selection of food, wonderful service and a nice view of the new park that has a water fountains that you can walk through and get wet. It would be fun if I wasn't going to be going anywhere else. :) The prices for this place were actually reasonable and nice servings too. We got a desert and on my word, what a cake. We got a LARGE slice (see below this paragraph) and small jug of milk. Emily and I agree it is for four people to eat, not two. We had left overs of the cake and I had left overs from my pizza.

After lunch Emily and I went to the Saint Joseph's Catholic Bookstore that was going out of business and so there are many good sales. It is sad to see it leave, but sometimes little selection and not much word of mouth maybe the cause for its downfall because I know many still thought the bookstore was in the basement of the Cathedral. I got three Holy Cards and a Navy Military Cross for JR. I wish I had more money cause I would gotten more. So, where did we go next well, Emily wanted me to have an experience of a good book store.

She drove us to German Village to a book store called "The Book Loft" (The Book Loft). It is a bookstore that has thirty-six rooms (for it used to be an actually family home) with nothing, but all types of books. I would really recommend if anyone comes to Columbus, Ohio to please check this place out for not only do they have 5% off the book price (or more for some books), but it is just assorted and there are many odds and ends there too, like journals, bookmarks, puzzles, and games. I wanted to get a few books, but with no money (only what I need for dinner and movie tonight) I was unable to get them.

The books I wanted to purchase was a hard copy (no e-book) of "Just Like Heaven" by Julia Quinn, and then a few books by Georgette Heyer (1902-1974), who I can say sadly I did not know her name, but certainly I want to read her books. I wonder if the library has some of her books. Maybe, but still I would like to read her books and even better I did not know how long ago her books were written.

Well that is all. God Bless.

Nikita 

Priests Should Marry?

I always seem to have a sore spot for this, because maybe I am a baby Catholic and so I am ever protective of the Church and Christ’s teachings, but I really think even when I am old and grey and sitting on a porch rocking I will still have that regard.

This issue (see title) came up during my break from work and when a person from work said that (well more like said, “I think priests and religious should marry.”), I instantly said, “Absolutely not.” I never like to be rude or mean to anyone and I refuse to give the name of the person who said this, but I know many might wonder why I would say that.

Well, I for one have watched the priests from my parish and all they do and I can just see how it would be so difficult to be a devoted husband and run a parish of over 300 families plus. Society now a days think because so many of them are working families that it would make sense, but remember that a priest have so many things to do for the Church that sometimes I can tell you that many of the priests I know have almost no time for just spending time doing what they would like to do (examples like reading, hiking, going out with friends, and etc.).

I think in a sensible way and common sense priests to not marry would be a good thing for the sake of a spouse and their feelings for many would feel left out and unloved because they are not even spending any time with their husbands.

Common sense out of the way, there is something that Jesus even said that is truly the focal point of my argument, correct me if I am wrong, but Jesus told his disciples if they truly wish to follow him they “must give up everything and take up the cross”. That I think was in the Gospel of Matthew. Think about it Priests and Religious Sisters give up everything to follow Jesus and His Church.

The Priests are representatives of Jesus and His Church, and am I not correct in saying that Jesus himself was not married and innocent (in a sexual sense), did He not give up His family, did He not give up everything for God’s Children. I think that would be a YES, so if the Priests are not just Disciples, but representatives of Christ, should they not try to imitate Christ in His way, by being a celibate and unmarried man. But as I said it is a Call, not all can do this and that is why Jesus tells Peter and the Apostles if they wish to TRULY follow they must give up everything.

Does that mean that I am not truly a disciple of Christ? No, it is a Call, God knows which are called for the priesthood and religious life, those who are not called should know that their vocation in life, if it is a single life or married find ways of devotion to God, through prayers, teaching their children the Truth of Christ’s Church.

The person who made this claim looked at this issue through a few priests, who probably made the mistakes, because priests are HUMAN, they are not Christ who was sinless. We strive to be like Christ, to be sinless in the eyes of God. But, also with the way society is now so sex-centered they cannot seem to see the natural love of devotion to God alone and His Church. Sex is not EVERYTHING, there is more to life than having an sexual relationship, Priests who make that mistake, are just human beings who have tempted and need prayers, not all follow their temptations, for I know I remember a homily by one of the priests I know that said, “There are days where I see a beautiful woman, and say, she is so beautiful, I wish I could date her, but I think about how much I love the Church and wish to follow Christ.”

They have those feelings, but they don’t have to act upon them, I am getting married, correct should I be tempted to stray from my relationship because I find someone attractive, wonderful, and everything I want (which mind you, my fiancé is all that and more!)? No, I am bound to him, and he is bound to me, and we are bound to God and His Church.

I think I went a little far on my rant, but in the end, I wanted to speak out about those who speak about this issue, for I truly believe they allow society to cloud their minds and never truly see beauty of what the priesthood and religious life brings and shows to us who live in sex-centered society.

I know there are going to be people who will go against me on this issue, but truly this is my honest opinion, from observations when I was coming into the Church and now, but also from my own experiences throughout my childhood and teenage years.

Please pray for them, and for the Holy Spirit to intercede for this prayer for TRUTH.

God Bless,

Nikita

Holy Thursday

I have decided that when writing about the three most important days in Catholicism, I would write individual entries for each of them. So I hope everyone will understand.

Holy Thursday is the start of the Sacred Paschal Triduum, the three most important days of the year. Thanks to my supervisor I got to have the three days off (thanking her often when I see her next), so after I got out of work at 6am I went on a bus to downtown to meet up with my fiancé, JR to have breakfast. It has become our routine that every Thursday to meet up and have breakfast together.

After our breakfast together I went and found a spot to just sit and surf the internet a bit, especially since now I have gotten into reading blogs more now than ever, especially Catholic blogs. It keeps me up-to-date with what is going on in a Catholic perspective. So, thank you Catholic bloggers who write and promote the faith.

Around 1030am I was back on the bus going towards Saint Patrick’s, my home parish, because I was thinking in my head, “I have not gone to Daily Mass at all this week, I could go today”.  Nope I totally forgot that there is only an evening Mass. Thank you to the Dominican Friar whom was kind enough to remind me, and no look at me like an idiot.

So, Fr. Gregory, OP said to me after telling me the bad news that I could if I would like pray in the chapel or because for once it was a good day that I could just sit outside, all I had to do was let him know and he would unlock the parish doors for me. I was most gracious and looked at him and said, “Father, I believe I will stay outside and mediate here, but thank you.” He smiled and went on his way because the Friars have so much to do in so little time.

I sat there in front of the door, near where Jesus was located and began to mediate and I began to also write down some of my thoughts, which though it is somewhat unedited I am going to copy down for readers to read, I forewarn that this part of the entry might be grammatical incorrect, so please forgive me.

Dear Lord,

I sit outside the doors of the Church, writing to You. Not of shame, never, just taking in a kind day. I should kneel down on the entrance way and pray, but then my knees would be shot. How then would I be able to kneel and show the love and glory that is Yours?

It is Holy Thursday as You know and it reminds me of the suffering You went through the next day. I could never fully know the pain You endured. I am sicken by how much pain You endured and so many disregard what You have done for us all, not just me.

Suffering is a word I am most familiar with. Most recently I have been dealing with a type of suffering that I would like to take on so to take away the suffering of someone dear to me. Lord if You will it let me take upon the cross that is Darrell’s. I have done it before let me do it again. I know many will tell me the risks, but is it not true that Mary said “fiat” even though she knew of what would happen to her beloved Son? Could I not in turn say “yes” to the risks?

Lord I know I am rambling a bit, but comes with me one who is constantly thinking more than one thing at a time. But, today there is very little action in my head, because I can only thing of Your suffering and the suffering of my great-uncle. You know what I want to say, even if I never write them down.

Lord, You do use me as Your instrument, I am ever happy to comply. Thank you for Your infinite wisdom to allow me to keep talking to the gentlemen, for now his confession will be heard. (A/N: When I was writing there was a man trying to get in the parish thinking that his confession could be heard, as I told him about it just being an evening Mass and confession would be heard that evening Fr. Gregory was coming out of the parish doors and in turn said, “I could hear your confession”. It was a moment that I smiled and said a few thanks.)

I wonder what my true vocation is in life, I am exited when You just reveal peeks from what my vocation is to be. But only when I see You face to face will I know my vocation in whole.

That is all I wrote, it was more like ramblings, but then again, most of my letters to the Trinity have been ramblings. Still I ended it there because I was unable to write down more. I decided then it might be time to go to the Red Roof Inn, for my godmother, Camille and I were to stay the night there for JR would not be able to take us home for we (Camille and I) were doing something until midnight and he needed to go home to sleep for he had an early class.

I checked into the Red Roof and yeah wow, I love the Red Roof I had reservation at, it was nice and yet silent really, in a busy downtown area and it was walking distance from Saint Patrick’s (number one plus). I just pretty much put my stuff I had packed away and then I got myself ready for next part of the day.

Later on JR came to the Red Roof to get ready and we then picked up Camille at her job. When we all came back to the Red Roof Camille got ready and then she and I went to eat our dinner (for JR already ate and was tired and so I told him to take a nap while we went to eat, he complied, but I know he would of rather went with us). Camille and I went to Max and Erma’s and we did a great job how fast we ate because we were out of there by 6.18pm I believe. We got JR up and then we went to Saint Patrick’s.

It was packed at Saint Patrick’s and I must say I have never seen it packed that much in the now three years coming to Saint Patrick’s. The Lord’s Supper has always been amazing to me, it was the first Mass, Jesus knew He would not be with us for He was to die and be raised, in the Eucharist He is always with us.  “For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the death of the Lord until He comes.” (1 Corinthians 11:26) The washing of feet was always amazing to me as well, for He was God and He washed the feet of His disciples as a slave would have washed the feet of their master. He is as I remembered reading from one of my friend’s blogs “the servant of all”.

Once the Mass was “concluded” the Holy Eucharist is transferred out of the chapel and into Patrick’s Hall where the parishioners and Friars sing the Pange, Lingua until He is placed in tabernacle of reposition. After some quiet prayers and walking JR to his car and saying goodnight to him, I went back into the parish to meet up with a small group from 20s Group who were going to do something new that even Camille has never done, go on a seven church tour.

 What is that you ask, well it is where you go to seven parishes before midnight and pray in front of the Eucharist. James, our secretary called the seven parishes in the downtown area and asked the times they would be locking their doors. Here are the parishes we went to: Holy Cross, Scared Heart, Holy Name, Saint Francis of Assisi, and Holy Family (there was one more, but they were closed by the time we got there).

My favorite parishes we went that I highly liked that I would love to go again were: Holy Cross and Sacred Heart. Holy Cross is the oldest parish in Columbus, but the oldest Christian Church in all of Columbus as well. When you walk in you are blown away by the interior, I would love sometime to get a full on tour there and understand what everything is, the walls are painted with scenes from the New Testament. Oh I wish I had pictures to show you the beauty of this parish, maybe someday I will.

Sacred Heart I loved for two reasons. One, is the Eucharist was transferred to a small little chapel that entrance was located at the left side of the altar. It was a tiny chapel with a confessional and maybe eight pews on either side that could fit maybe twenty people in the room at a time. Second thing was when praying in front of the Eucharist at Sacred Heart, Jesus presented himself to me in a way He has been for the past few weeks, I saw through the white cloth the face of Jesus that is has been beaten and tortured.

I know many and even myself have said that it is just my eyes playing with me and yet, I cannot truly say it was my eyes because I mean I did not always see it at every parish, just at a few and even then it was when the Eucharist was right there in front of me. Jesus tends to show himself to me during Adoration too, but always of the Sacred Heart of Jesus or Divine Mercy Jesus, never the tortured face that has blood running down His face, the thorns piercing His skin, the bruising of His face, O Lord how You suffered for us!

After going all through downtown we all came back to Saint Patrick’s and was there for a Dominican tradition that I have not witnessed until this year, where they read if I am correct the Gospel of John Chapter 17. We came during the reading of the Gospel, I sat there and looked at where Jesus was and I again saw something, but not the face, not Divine Mercy, nor the Sacred Heart, but the Crucifix and I know it is not engraved on the surface of where Jesus was. It was amazing and yet, made me wonder what He is trying to tell me. He will tell me in time, for I trust in the Lord.

About four minutes before midnight Fr. Michael OP came up towards tabernacle wearing the piece of clothing that he would wear during Benediction and he took out the Eucharist and covered the Eucharist with the cloth and took Him away. At that moment I felt as if Jesus was being taken away from the Garden and lead to the Chief Priests. The tabernacle was empty; a profound moment was that I acknowledge He was not there and felt my heart ache for Him. That moment has stuck with me since.

20s Group: Bowling Night (Thursday)

On Thursday the dynamitic trio was back in action and how great it was to experience that again. JR, Camille, and I went to bowling alley that the 20s Group was meeting up at for our meeting (because the Bishop was at our parish for Confirmations, so literally the Bishop kicked us out, no kidding). We decided to go there early because we knew would not be able to stay after 9pm, so we got there around 5:44pm.


This bowling alley was great; they had a great deal where you can play for three hours plus rentals for $15 a person, which I consider a great bundle. We three decided that was a good choice for us. I need to let everyone know that I was never good at bowling, but knew how to bowl due to my grandparents who were in a bowling league at one time and so I remembered something of how to bowl well.

That night I shined for the first time because for three hours the three of us played six games and I got seven strikes and seven spares, which was pretty good for the girl who always got the gutter balls. I think possibly the best thing for me was the atmosphere between Camille, JR, and I. I had not felt like for awhile. I felt like laughing and having a good time and teasing more so then I have as well. I think both JR and Camille both noticed this.

The only thing bad was that even though I thought more of the 20s Group members would be there, there were only six of us that came. But, that is alright I guess because it gave me time to spend it with my godmother/best friend and fiancé/ best friend. JR did best both Camille and I in a combine six game score though and he had the least of strikes and spares.

Thinking way to much keeps you from sleeping, no joke

The last time I wrote I believe I wrote something to effect that I have an awful time trying to sleep because I think absolutely too much. Well here I am around 4:30am and I am still awake. There are just too many thoughts in my mind and I cannot get them to go away. So, I am going to listen to a friend’s advice and write them down.


The first thing that pops into my mind is something that happened in the past twelve hours. I was at work and I was checking out this customer who was holding her little son (who I think was at least three, maybe) and she mentioned something about how she was going to make sure her son will be the perfect gentlemen and etc.

But, what furthers my interest was she something about having him going to St. Andrew’s and teaching him the love of God. I said something that I have always said when I know someone is Catholic, “you never know he might one day want to devote himself totally to God and become a priest” and you should have seen the look on her face when I said that. “That is going too far,” she said, “I want grandkids.”

It was in that moment that a memory came back to me. “I always thought it was interesting that married Catholics would pray for vocations, but always at the end of their prayer they would say ‘just not my kids’” that was a quote by a Dominican Friar who I am admire quite well and that woman was that example.

It might sound cruel of me, but I find that woman very selfish. I would never do that to my children, for I want them to discern what God wishes them to do in His Church. I will not hinder their devotion to God under my selfish act of wanting grandchildren. I will not hinder the love that they wish to show unto Jesus and His Church because I want them always able to be with me.

That woman and young boy are going to be in my prayers.

Second thing, you all have heard the term, “sticks and stones may break my bones” right? Well I heard this saying randomly as I was walking home from work today around 12:30am. When I mediated on the words, I began to think how these words seem to reflect the martyrs. For was it not true that sticks, stones, fires, animals, scourges, gas chambers, gunshots, swords, and etc was what the martyrs endured for Truth that was Jesus Christ? How true that saying goes, that “sticks and stones may break my bones” but as the martyrs did they prayed for those who harm them, for “they do not know what they are doing”.

In my humble opinion if I wanted to say something about those who hate my faith, the teachings of the Church, or anything that is Truth I would say: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but never will that stop my prayers for you”.

Jesus had said, “To love thy neighbor” but also “to love thy enemies” how true would it not be that I should pray for those who would stab my faith, stomp on it and constantly scourge me, for they just do not know how they in the end are hurting themselves and they exposing their flaws, their sorrows, their anger, and I am not the one that is the problem it is their unhappiness. I must pray for them always, no matter how much they harm me.

Two Days Within

As I sit here, doing laundry I thought it would be a great time to write another entry. I want to say I wish internet at my home and not have to go places to get internet. It becomes a hassle because when I want to write an entry, I cannot post it and then it is a few days old. So, hopefully many of you can understand my little problem.


Alright, it is time to go through what has been transpiring for the past two days. Thursday was 20s Group Meeting. 20s Group is a group created to form a fellowship of young adults to not only meet new people to form friendships, but to deepen their understanding of their Catholic faith. I was most excited with this because I had experienced St. Paul’s Outreach, and though the people were kind and charitable, they were more charismatic, and as I was told by my Spiritual, “sometimes cannot be your cup of tea”.

There are many of those in the 20s Group who wish to balance charismatic and traditional within, but I am hoping we stick to the traditional way, and that is just because it is hard to find a group of young adults who are in joy with being Catholic that are not more into the charismatic movement. I am hoping through the meeting we have today (Saturday) we can discuss how many of us would like a balance between the two and not have this group going only charismatic, but that is my opinion.

The 20s Group meet every Thursday and the evening consists of Holy Hour of Adoration (which I love silence, just saying that out loud now) and then after that we have a special guest speaker, a member talk, catechist, Bible study, or something randomly fun. After that we either stay at the parish are we are going out to a local watering hole, or with the weather getting warmer going somewhere with a volleyball court or something.

Anyways, this 20s Group meeting was a lecture done by Fr. Michael, who is the pastor of the parish I attend and the group is associated with. His lecture was on “The Lord of the Rings”. I have never read the books because I never had them in my possession to read. The lecture focused on how J.R.R. Tolkien, the “father” of modern fantasy literature was able to bring Catholic imagination to the books. I loved how he was able to underline everything in the book as Catholic, but without making a new religion within the book, which would in turn create a cult. (Sounds familiar with some of the books/movies made)

One of the cool things I learned from this lecture was how J.R.R. Tolkien able to show Jesus Christ throughout the story and yet as even Fr. Michael, no one would notice. He uses three characters to be Priest, Prophet, and King. When I post this I want to see if anyone can guess which characters are Priest, Prophet, and King.

Lastly, the one thing that is interesting through out this lecture was Fr. Michael stated that in “Lord of the Rings” the day of victories was March 25th, which is for Catholics is the Annunciation. This is the day celebrate when Mary said “fiat” to God to be the Mother of Jesus. Her “yes” brought about the beginning of the Salvation, as the writer for the Magnificat says, “The Annunciation heralds the beginning of the our salvation.”

So, yesterday was the great day of Victory! It was to be the third Friday of Lent, but because it is such a special day, the Lenten practices were lifted for this one Friday. That meant St. Patrick’s Knights of Columbus served not only Fish, but Chicken. It was so interesting to have that happen, especially when I am allergic to seafood to say on Friday to the Knights, “I would like Chicken please”. They did something on the Chicken, which was have Italian dressing or seasoning on it, which literally make me wish I could have a second round.

JR, my fiancé and I sat at a table with our friend, Emily and my “adoptive” grandparents, Bee and Dave. It was wonderful to be able to spend time with them all, because though I am a parishioner at the parish, there are not many who like to sit with us because they promised to sit with their families or with families that they always sit with. Either way, I am happy that it was not just JR and I at a table.

To add to the joy, I was told that JR will be joining the Knights of Columbus. I was kind of sitting going, “why I was not told?” But, am I pleased that he is doing something that he wants to do. I am going to have a Knight as my fiancé.

Emily was at the Fish Fry because we had our Dominican Third Order make-up Novice class before the Fish Fry. I truly think it is Jesus doing something because when Emily has missed a class, I somehow miss a class and we take the make-ups together. It is nice to do that because I feel that Emily and I are like Sisters, not just in the Dominican Order, but spiritually.

The lesson was about the Government of the Order, how Saint Dominic was beyond his time for he had the Order set up in a Democratic way. And it still works! Think about this, the Dominican Order is the only order that has not broken apart; there is no break though out the eight hundred plus years of the Order.

At Saint Patrick’s Parish a normal Friday during Lent goes as follow, Fish Fry from 5pm-7pm and then from 7pm-8pm is the Stations of the Cross and then depending the night, there is an all night Adoration. This Friday due to the special occasion instead the Stations of the Cross it was Adoration. This year I have been unable to attend the Stations of the Cross with the parish because of work schedule and then last week my great-uncle went back into the hospital. So I was all for Stations, but I do not mind having Adoration either because it is a chance to quietly speak to Jesus and thank him over and over again of the graces received.

Yesterday I was also glad for Adoration for I quietly made my petitions for the soul of a high school classmate who committed suicide this past week. I prayed for his soul, but also for his family who lost the person they loved so dear to them.

As I looked upon the Body of Christ I constantly asked the Lord for the strength of not blaming myself for his death, for I knew I felt that for awhile because I was never truly there for him and I never was the ear to listen to him as he needed his heart poured out, I was not the shoulder to carry the weight of his suffering.

In the end I was kind of in a sad way glad I never went to the funeral. I wanted to, but how could you go to a funeral when you have that much regret, you know you cannot lift that regret. I did not want to look upon the faces of his family and say, “I am sorry for your lost, I am sorry I was not there for someone who seems to needed someone to listen to him”.

I would not be able to control the emotions and regret and in turn I would blame myself more and more and I know that would never be good for me, Jesus would never want me to have that regret, when I had no control over the events. I know that there will be a few people who were friends with him and read this and will come after me for not coming, I hope that when they read this they will understand why I could not come, not just because of the time, but for the reason I stated above.

I like to go on a lighter note, which is I blame my godmother for getting me so addictive to the game Sequence. Last night when JR brought me back home, we played for about I think an hour or two of the game Sequence and we could not believe that it was close to midnight by the time he left the house. All just playing that game and talking, something we liked a lot. And the game got intense a few rounds, literally. (He had to use three green chips that is how intense).

Well, I guess I should end this entry because with Microsoft Word I wrote three pages for this entry. And I do not want to bore people who actually read this blog/journal. God bless and have a blessed Sunday.

March 23rd, 2011

This entry was written prior on Word because I had no internet. :) Enjoy:

It is already the middle of the week and I am quite certain within a blink of an eye I will be transported to Sunday night working 10pm-6am. It seems it goes by quickly and yet it doesn’t for it is just 11:07am and I thought it was about 2pm.


This morning I did my morning routine, which consist of: Liturgy of the Hours, reading the Magnificat, and Magnificat: Lenten Companion. Since I am unable to go to Daily Mass, I read the Magnificat to at least know what today’s readings were.

The great part of the Magnificat is the fact that they add a piece of work written by a Saint, Blessed, Religious, Clergy, Laity, or even Pope as a meditation. Sometimes these written works do not really invoke me to write about them, but today the Holy Spirit invoked this one to me.

Written by Mother Elvira Petrozzi, she writes about pain and suffering and how “pain is a part of human life”. She also writes, “Do not avoid it, minimize its significance, or talk about it in such a trivial way!” I have in my lifetime remembered being told to avoid being hurt by doing this, or it happened in the past get over the pain. How I have suffered when I was silent to those few words said to me as I was growing up!

Mother ends her work by writing, “The risen Jesus is our true hope, because in Him pain and death are defeated!” Jesus took on our suffering when he did not deserve any of the sufferings, He was the Word made flesh. He reminds us that the suffering we endure here on earth we will not endure in Heaven. How joyous I am that Jesus saved us from always being in pain and suffering after death. I know I am going in deep, but these are just the thoughts being thrown out from my mind.

In the Magnificat: Lenten Companion, Father Richard G. Smith writes about how “the Gospels are the great and true epics of Christianity, and the Twelve are our heroes”, but also “none of the Gospels shy away from the real humanity of the first disciples”. This is true we read stories of heroes who are strong and perfect, and yet we know that is not humanity. “We’re meant to see something of ourselves here-like these disciples, we often miss the boat with Jesus, even after so many years of living with him!” How true that is, sometimes I find where converts like me and reverts like my fiancé, JR are at, we for so many years missed by how we seek perfection. “Jesus doesn’t need our perfection, he only asks for our faithfulness.”

That quote reminds me of what I was reading for my Third Order Novice class this coming Friday. Obedience, as in my lesson works says, is misinterpreted gravely, even by those of the society and even the Clergy sometimes. “To be obedient is to strive ceaselessly to hear even more clearly God’s Word, the Gospel, and Jesus Christ.” Obedience is not a way for us to be shoved down on our knees crawling as slaves, no obedience is freedom.

I am not a theologian, maybe I would like a degree in theology one day, but I do not have it now. With that said, sometimes though I know I am writing the Truth, sometimes it is even difficult for me to explain how I know the Truth. Kind of funny, right? I would say so, but please I ask that those who love to argue or just debate because they have a thrill, please know that I am baby in my own faith, still learning how to defend myself in what I know in my mind, heart, and soul as true.

To change the subject a little, today is the feast of Saint Turibius de Mongrovejo. I would just like to copy down the little biography from the Liturgy of Hours:

“Saint Turibius was born in Spain around the year 1538. He taught law at the University of Salamanca, and in 1580 he was chosen as the bishop of Lima and journeyed to America. Burning with apostolic zeal, he called together many councils and synods which successfully promoted the reform of the religion throughout the whole region. He vigorously defended the laws of the Church and earnestly looked after the people committed to his car by visiting them frequently. He devoted much of his time and attention to the car of the native Indian population. He died in 1606.”

If I am not correct the Josephinum, which is a pontifical seminary and college and the only one outside Vatican City. But, anyways, the one main chapel that they are trying to restore is the St. Turibius chapel, so named after this holy man. One more thing I would like to copy from the Liturgy of the Hours is the prayer for Saint Turibius:

“Lord, through the apostolic work of Saint Turibius

and his unwavering love for truth,

you helped your Church to grow.

May your chosen people continue to grow in faith and holiness.

Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,

one God, for ever and ever.”

Yesterday, JR and I went over to his grandmother’s house to look through things because his grandmother was getting rid a lot of her things for she is now in a retirement home. JR and I felt a little uneasy because I can say it felt like she was dead and I knew she was alive.

But, we started going through her pictures which I was looking for something special, which was her wedding photos because I asked about them. I found them and what a beautiful couple! I will say that I had a difficult time trying to not look at JR and say, “I cannot tell if that is you or your grandfather”. For those two look so much a like. Literally JR looks more like his grandfather Unverzagt than any of the others.

It is amazing, but there is one picture we found that he never thought he would see. It was a photo taken before his grandfather died, where his grandfather was holding him and on the side of the photo his dad was sitting there smiling. I cried a little because you could just see the joy in John Sr.’s eyes even though he was going through cancer. JR grabbed that picture and wanted it, and I do not blame him. It is a moment he treasures, though he doesn’t remember it. I do wish I had a photo like that with my own grandfather Phillips, but he died while I was still in my mother’s womb.

So, what will I do today? I am probably going to just relax this is my vacation! JR is coming over later this afternoon and we are going to eat out and probably just have a good day/evening together.

God Bless,

Nikita

Vacation, that sounds lovely...

That is what I am on, a vacation...from my job. It is wonderful to have this week to relax and not worry about sleep schedules or anything work-related. I can focus on keeping up with my Lenten promises. Which reminds me I am failing in only drinking two twenty ounces of soda pop, I think it is due to the fact it is my only source of caffine and really I love water, but the I hate the tap water at some places, bottled water taste like swimming pools, and I cannot stand flavor water. But my other Lenten promises I have kept up, but with vacation I find I can focus more on them.

For one of the things I wanted to do during Lent was to read more of my spiritual Catholic books. One of those books was: "The Story of a Soul" by St. Therese of Lisieux. When I decided to read this book I wanted to make sure I took my time on this book. Many people that I know who know me can tell you I read fast and sometimes I do not really dive into the books I skim through it instead. So, this time especially with all the Catholic books I have read before I have been slowing down to contemplate what I was reading.

Back to "The Story of a Soul", St. Therese is very witty and wonderful as a writer. I could catch onto to what she was writing about within the first few sentences of the first chapter. She reminded me of how I sometimes write my journal entries or write letters, she even reminds me of the letters John and Abigail Adams wrote to each other.

The first eight chapters really encouraged me to really dive into writing my conversion story that I have been anxious, but worried about writing. Why, many of you would ask? Well, to start it is because I fear writing down my conversion story and someone going after my grammar or spelling, and truly I just believe no one would care how Jesus taught me that He loves me so much. But, St. Therese really inspired me to think, "I need to write this, I cannot just keep this to me." Maybe, well most likely St. Therese and the Holy Spirit were working together to help me come to the decision I needed to get to.

I am not finished with the book, I am only three chapters away from being finished. But, I have to say I am finding more quotes that I love of St. Therese in chapter nine than I have really found in the first eight chapters.

"We live in the age of inventions now, and the wealthy no longer have to take the trouble to climb the stairs; they take an elevator. That is what I must find, an elevator to take me straight up to Jesus, because I am too little to climb the steep stairway of perfection." When I read that quote, I remembered a priest who spoke at the fourth annual Columbus Catholic Women's Conference this past February. It spoke true to me in so many way, that I know I can never be like some of the Saints like St. Maxmilian Kolbe, St. Dominic, St. Catherine of Siena, or Blessed Jordan of Saxony, but I can be humble and good, and so much and that would be an elevator for me.

One paragraph from chapter nine really moves me as I have never been moved except for other time, but that will be another time to speak about that. Here is the paragraph:

"She asks pardon for her brothers who do not believe. She is quite content to eat the bread of sorrow as long as You will her to. For the love You, she will sit at this table laden with the bitter food of sinners and will not rise until You give the sign. Yet in their name and in her own, may she not say: "O God, be meciful to us sinners". Send us away justified. May all in whom the light of faith shines dimly see at last. If the table they have defiled must be purified by one who loves You, I am willing to sit there alone eating nothing but the bread of tears until You choose to take me into Your Kingdom of Light. I ask only one grace--may I never offend You."

It is a powerful statement that I must contemplate even more, for I truly do not know how I shall grasp at this beautiful and moving love that St. Therese seems to had found.

I will be jumping around on this entry, just because that is me, I never could make good transitions from one subject to the next, but this is like a personal journal to me that is viewed for the public, so may God help the poor souls that decide to read my entries.

Yesterday, my fiance(JR) and I decided we were going to bake cookies for the prison ministry (something the prison ministry asks at least I think three times a year). It was a wonderful thing for me to ponder upon how can these cookies help with the ministry of those poor souls who decided to mortality sin and repenting for their sins. I remember thinking, though not deeply, but thinking that each cookie that we bring to the prison minstry cookie drive is a way to helping a poor sinner to repent and know that God's mercy is so great.

JR and I made a lot of cookies and there is still one package left for me to bake, I will most likely bake these for the 20s Group's Social Hour. It will be good to have done and if there are extras, which sometimes there are, then they will be at the house for my great-grandmother and great-uncle to chow down on. Which now that my great-uncle is home, I know that sweets and good meals are going to be something I want to do.

Well, hopefully this is not too long of an entry. Please know that I pray for all of you and if you have a certain prayer request please post a comment for me. Thank you for reading and God Bless.

~Nikita~

Introduction

My name is Nikita Rhea (Maria Goretti) Phillips, I am twenty-three years old.

Over a year or so ago I created this blog thinking this would be a great to have one more place to put my thoughts. I do have a livejournal, but not many people read it there or can easily find my entries without having an account so I thought this would be a nice x-posted blog so that those who wanted to read my entriest would be able to.

Well, a few things happened. For one, I was not writing that much because it was difficult to write about what was going on in my life. Second, there were certain people, well two or three who did not like the fact I was open of talking about my faith, or what I stand by. I have insercurities and so that hindered me from writing.

Finally after contemplating on these few issues I had decided to rally again and write not only here, but on livejournal, but I want to be able to really writing on this blog more because I want to be able to read comments and interact with those who read my blog.

So, many might be wondering what would I be writing mostly on this blog? Certainly my life, but also entries about my faith, which is Catholicism. I am going to be a two-year old in the Church and I am very happy to be Catholic. I will also write about my other loves, such as history, books, my engagement (yes I am to be wed in May/June 2012), movies, music, and etc.

I hope in the near future this will my main source of where I go to write down my thoughts and I also hope that in the near future I will be able to have people comment on this blog.

God Bless,
Nikita