Holy Thursday

I have decided that when writing about the three most important days in Catholicism, I would write individual entries for each of them. So I hope everyone will understand.

Holy Thursday is the start of the Sacred Paschal Triduum, the three most important days of the year. Thanks to my supervisor I got to have the three days off (thanking her often when I see her next), so after I got out of work at 6am I went on a bus to downtown to meet up with my fiancé, JR to have breakfast. It has become our routine that every Thursday to meet up and have breakfast together.

After our breakfast together I went and found a spot to just sit and surf the internet a bit, especially since now I have gotten into reading blogs more now than ever, especially Catholic blogs. It keeps me up-to-date with what is going on in a Catholic perspective. So, thank you Catholic bloggers who write and promote the faith.

Around 1030am I was back on the bus going towards Saint Patrick’s, my home parish, because I was thinking in my head, “I have not gone to Daily Mass at all this week, I could go today”.  Nope I totally forgot that there is only an evening Mass. Thank you to the Dominican Friar whom was kind enough to remind me, and no look at me like an idiot.

So, Fr. Gregory, OP said to me after telling me the bad news that I could if I would like pray in the chapel or because for once it was a good day that I could just sit outside, all I had to do was let him know and he would unlock the parish doors for me. I was most gracious and looked at him and said, “Father, I believe I will stay outside and mediate here, but thank you.” He smiled and went on his way because the Friars have so much to do in so little time.

I sat there in front of the door, near where Jesus was located and began to mediate and I began to also write down some of my thoughts, which though it is somewhat unedited I am going to copy down for readers to read, I forewarn that this part of the entry might be grammatical incorrect, so please forgive me.

Dear Lord,

I sit outside the doors of the Church, writing to You. Not of shame, never, just taking in a kind day. I should kneel down on the entrance way and pray, but then my knees would be shot. How then would I be able to kneel and show the love and glory that is Yours?

It is Holy Thursday as You know and it reminds me of the suffering You went through the next day. I could never fully know the pain You endured. I am sicken by how much pain You endured and so many disregard what You have done for us all, not just me.

Suffering is a word I am most familiar with. Most recently I have been dealing with a type of suffering that I would like to take on so to take away the suffering of someone dear to me. Lord if You will it let me take upon the cross that is Darrell’s. I have done it before let me do it again. I know many will tell me the risks, but is it not true that Mary said “fiat” even though she knew of what would happen to her beloved Son? Could I not in turn say “yes” to the risks?

Lord I know I am rambling a bit, but comes with me one who is constantly thinking more than one thing at a time. But, today there is very little action in my head, because I can only thing of Your suffering and the suffering of my great-uncle. You know what I want to say, even if I never write them down.

Lord, You do use me as Your instrument, I am ever happy to comply. Thank you for Your infinite wisdom to allow me to keep talking to the gentlemen, for now his confession will be heard. (A/N: When I was writing there was a man trying to get in the parish thinking that his confession could be heard, as I told him about it just being an evening Mass and confession would be heard that evening Fr. Gregory was coming out of the parish doors and in turn said, “I could hear your confession”. It was a moment that I smiled and said a few thanks.)

I wonder what my true vocation is in life, I am exited when You just reveal peeks from what my vocation is to be. But only when I see You face to face will I know my vocation in whole.

That is all I wrote, it was more like ramblings, but then again, most of my letters to the Trinity have been ramblings. Still I ended it there because I was unable to write down more. I decided then it might be time to go to the Red Roof Inn, for my godmother, Camille and I were to stay the night there for JR would not be able to take us home for we (Camille and I) were doing something until midnight and he needed to go home to sleep for he had an early class.

I checked into the Red Roof and yeah wow, I love the Red Roof I had reservation at, it was nice and yet silent really, in a busy downtown area and it was walking distance from Saint Patrick’s (number one plus). I just pretty much put my stuff I had packed away and then I got myself ready for next part of the day.

Later on JR came to the Red Roof to get ready and we then picked up Camille at her job. When we all came back to the Red Roof Camille got ready and then she and I went to eat our dinner (for JR already ate and was tired and so I told him to take a nap while we went to eat, he complied, but I know he would of rather went with us). Camille and I went to Max and Erma’s and we did a great job how fast we ate because we were out of there by 6.18pm I believe. We got JR up and then we went to Saint Patrick’s.

It was packed at Saint Patrick’s and I must say I have never seen it packed that much in the now three years coming to Saint Patrick’s. The Lord’s Supper has always been amazing to me, it was the first Mass, Jesus knew He would not be with us for He was to die and be raised, in the Eucharist He is always with us.  “For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the death of the Lord until He comes.” (1 Corinthians 11:26) The washing of feet was always amazing to me as well, for He was God and He washed the feet of His disciples as a slave would have washed the feet of their master. He is as I remembered reading from one of my friend’s blogs “the servant of all”.

Once the Mass was “concluded” the Holy Eucharist is transferred out of the chapel and into Patrick’s Hall where the parishioners and Friars sing the Pange, Lingua until He is placed in tabernacle of reposition. After some quiet prayers and walking JR to his car and saying goodnight to him, I went back into the parish to meet up with a small group from 20s Group who were going to do something new that even Camille has never done, go on a seven church tour.

 What is that you ask, well it is where you go to seven parishes before midnight and pray in front of the Eucharist. James, our secretary called the seven parishes in the downtown area and asked the times they would be locking their doors. Here are the parishes we went to: Holy Cross, Scared Heart, Holy Name, Saint Francis of Assisi, and Holy Family (there was one more, but they were closed by the time we got there).

My favorite parishes we went that I highly liked that I would love to go again were: Holy Cross and Sacred Heart. Holy Cross is the oldest parish in Columbus, but the oldest Christian Church in all of Columbus as well. When you walk in you are blown away by the interior, I would love sometime to get a full on tour there and understand what everything is, the walls are painted with scenes from the New Testament. Oh I wish I had pictures to show you the beauty of this parish, maybe someday I will.

Sacred Heart I loved for two reasons. One, is the Eucharist was transferred to a small little chapel that entrance was located at the left side of the altar. It was a tiny chapel with a confessional and maybe eight pews on either side that could fit maybe twenty people in the room at a time. Second thing was when praying in front of the Eucharist at Sacred Heart, Jesus presented himself to me in a way He has been for the past few weeks, I saw through the white cloth the face of Jesus that is has been beaten and tortured.

I know many and even myself have said that it is just my eyes playing with me and yet, I cannot truly say it was my eyes because I mean I did not always see it at every parish, just at a few and even then it was when the Eucharist was right there in front of me. Jesus tends to show himself to me during Adoration too, but always of the Sacred Heart of Jesus or Divine Mercy Jesus, never the tortured face that has blood running down His face, the thorns piercing His skin, the bruising of His face, O Lord how You suffered for us!

After going all through downtown we all came back to Saint Patrick’s and was there for a Dominican tradition that I have not witnessed until this year, where they read if I am correct the Gospel of John Chapter 17. We came during the reading of the Gospel, I sat there and looked at where Jesus was and I again saw something, but not the face, not Divine Mercy, nor the Sacred Heart, but the Crucifix and I know it is not engraved on the surface of where Jesus was. It was amazing and yet, made me wonder what He is trying to tell me. He will tell me in time, for I trust in the Lord.

About four minutes before midnight Fr. Michael OP came up towards tabernacle wearing the piece of clothing that he would wear during Benediction and he took out the Eucharist and covered the Eucharist with the cloth and took Him away. At that moment I felt as if Jesus was being taken away from the Garden and lead to the Chief Priests. The tabernacle was empty; a profound moment was that I acknowledge He was not there and felt my heart ache for Him. That moment has stuck with me since.