Saturday, January 28, 2012


It took some thought about this, and well I have decided to move my lovely personal blog to It is not that I did not like, it just felt that since I had all my blogs on it seem naturally to want my personal blog there too. Also, it seems to me to have a better way of sharing entries instantly and I do not have to remember to re-post the links. I hope that everyone is alright with this. Here is the new blog site: 

Much thanks and God bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Friday, January 27, 2012



This is from Bishop Campbell of the Diocese of Columbus


Have I ever mentioned I think Belle and Rapunzel remind me a lot of myself or really, especially at the beginning of each their stories. I am bored and feel that all I have is my job to look forward to. It makes me cry. I hate how my life is, where I literally feel like a burden and I feel like I bore people because frankly I have nothing to offer. Loneliness is my disease and I cannot find that cure.

Right now I have been thinking of turning off my phone because there is no point of looking at it and face those whom I would love to see are out and about doing what they need to do today.

Lock myself in my room might be another option. This bump in my life is more like a mountain and I cannot go through it or around or even under, I have to keep the course of this mountain-like bump in my life and personally, I am always wondering when will my LIFE begin. Even my poor books are not helping.

On another note the only thing I have been thinking about is switching this personal blog to, I have three blogs over there and find I like the software and it is easier to connect to social networks. Added bonus, it seems there is a better amount of an audience there who would read my thoughts. Hopefully in another few days, there will be a post here letting you all know my decision on this and link you to the new blog, if it comes down to I will do that.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

March for Life Trip

I want to first apologize for not writing in my blog as often as I promised. There are just days where thoughts will not form onto the screen. Plus, I hate to complain and vent only with each entry. For those who read this blog, thank you for sticking around. Personally, I have no idea why people read this blog, but thank you either way.

This past weekend Camille and I went to the March for Life 2012 in Washington DC. We left on Friday because I, myself cannot go to DC without visiting the museum and visiting my boys (I will explain that later). We were worried that the trip getting there would be a little difficult because of the snow storm that passed through, but alas with God’s wonderful Love and a lot of salt trucks it was a decent drive.

So for the first two days we spent touring DC area, Friday was touring what we could of Alexandria, Virginia which if anyone gets the chance, go visit Alexandria, beautiful “Old Town” is just an amazing place to be. We decided while on this trip to visit at least one local restaurant and it was in Alexandria that we found a great joint.

It is called Bugsy’s Restrurant and Sports Bar. I highly recommend the place if you are in the DC area. Plus, I will post more about it in my ‘Local Eats’ blog. After eating and touring the city of Alexandria, Camille and I headed off to our hotel.

It was on Sunday that started the March for Life events, with the Vigil Mass for Life at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. You actually got good seats, in the middle section in the Upper Church. One of the biggest things about this Vigil Mass is you have to get there EARLY, because it reaches the limits of maybe 5,000-10,000+ people cramming in to be participate of this Mass. And you have to wait awhile, about five hours+ until the Mass even begins.

It was beautiful to see so many young people (young teenagers to around my age) participating in this Vigil, but also standing for LIFE, from conception to natural death. Right before the Mass began I found, well Camille found them first was a religious community whom are from the Central Ohio area. The Children of Mary, is a very contemplative community. They are small community, but growing, hailing from Newark, Ohio. Camille and I were able to provide them seats with us. So, I finally knew someone at the National Shrine, whom I knew I could talk to.

Also whom we met at the Vigil was Teresa Tomeo, a radio talk show host, but also author of “Extreme Makeover” a book on how women are victimized by culture and how to conform to Christ. I had met her briefly at the Columbus Catholic Women’s Conference, but because she was a main speaker, a lot of women wished to meet her and so, I never really spoke that much to her. But, on Sunday she was at the National Shrine signing books (which I forgot mine at home in Columbus), but she was kind enough to take a picture with Camille and I.

When Mass finally began the procession itself took either almost or over thirty minutes with all the Seminarians, Religious Novices, Deacons, Priests, Bishops, and Archbishops. It was long, but how AMAZING and WONDERFUL it was to experience. The homilist was His Eminence, Daniel Cardinal DiNardo, the Archbishop of Galveston-Huston; his homily was beautiful and direct on why we were there, to protect LIFE, to give a voice to those who are voiceless.

Camille and I finally left from the hotel and got back about 11pm. The next morning was to be the big day, to practice our rights to protest. We were told it would be thunderstorms on the day of the March. But, I knew from the past experiences that I have come to the March, thunderstorms would not stop us from marching up to the Supreme Court. But, what happens it rains for a little bit, but no thunderstorms. That did not happen until when Camille and I were leaving DC area.

We decided to stick around the Dominican Friars, since one Camille and I were representing the Lay Dominican St. Catherine of Siena chapter at the March, but also because we were hoping to meet up with Saint Patrick’s Parish and Fr. Gregory said they would be around the Dominican Friars. I like marching with the Dominican Friars, the one year I went alone, I had no idea who anyone was and felt that it was my family I wanted to be around as I marched, so I found the Friars.

As the March finally began I was excited, and joyful to be a voice for LIFE. One thing I can tell you about this protest, there is no anger that I ever felt when marching, no I feel joy and when I march. The news media doesn’t want happiness they want anger, they (media) is up for a buzz of HATRED, this MARCH is for LOVE!

It is difficult to explain my feelings and thoughts while on the March, but I think sometimes pictures speak my voice and all those who came to the March this year.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Friday, January 13, 2012

How Can I Object?

I was given the good news that my great-uncle breathing was taken out and now he can talk. It such a great bit of news and thank the Lord for that. I will be unable to visit him today because of work, but I am glad Granny will be going to see him. She has worried over him so much and rightly so, it is her son.

So, what is with the title of this entry? This whole week I have been given the gift of having my best friend, sister, and godmother with me at the house. I knew it would end where she would not be here anymore. I was reminded of what it was like to have support at home and now it is time to let go again.

Most would consider that selfish, I regret to say, I know that. So, that means tomorrow she is leaving or even tonight, I have no clue. I know I have no right to object; she needs to go back to her family, to her own bed, to her own life before this whole week began. And I need to go back to mine.

She texted me earlier before I wrote this entry and asked what was wrong, she said in one of her texts that she thinks I am getting upset about her going home tomorrow. I responded the way I need to respond, that how could I object, if I did I would think I was nothing but selfish. How truthful I was because I would love to object, wishing to keep my friend and sister with me longer, have a companion at home to talk about things, to feel that comfort when I need it.

I know that others would say that I have a future HUSBAND who can do that, but remember until we are married he cannot live with me; he cannot stay the nights and hold me and talk to me or let me cry myself to sleep. I have two dear friends and those two have lives, one will merge with mine as soon as a date is provided, but the other, well has their own life to live.

I know I have been writing very depressing posts, hopefully after this week that will change. But, suffering is ever part of my journey to the Lord. I only hope that joy will join that journey too.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Snow begins

As those from 20s Group were leaving St. Patrick's to go to Tommy's we recieved a nice surprise (well I consider it a surprise) it began to snow. That really helped lighten the mood, but also the situations.

Finally making it to Tommy's which was the 20s Group first time meeting there. It was fun actually and I can say even with the snow we got there at a good time and left at 9:21pm, I believe.

It was when leaving Tommy's that Eileen and Camille began a little snowball fight with what snow they could pack together. Us three girls were laughing, I was actually laughing.

Thank you Lord for the snow!

It is 8:23am and it is snowing still, but it is to be stopping soon. My area probably got about maybe two inches or three. Which is not at all bad and it looks for my area the city really salted the roads well. So, everyone from Ohio please be safe driving, just remember give yourself time.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

The Devil taunts you as you are vulnerable

For the past few days I have allowed my stress to take over my emotions, which I am so vulnerable and I snap so easily when that happens. Sometimes, I feel as Camille will confirm and many of the other readers of my blog, the devil taunts you while you are most vulnerable.

What I normally do when I am stressed is I try to dive into another activity. I am similar to my Daddy (who I consider a workaholic). But, sometimes I become too involve, such as noticing what could be changed with something, and many would get annoyed by my constant complaints. It is a fault I know I have and certainly that is what normally doesn't help me, but I somehow mentally do it anyways.

Many times I find myself thinking I am a burden to those who are around me and I will do everything in my power to push myself away from them. I did that early Wednesday morning until literally I feel after Holy Hour. I pushed most especially from Camille who I felt I was burdening the most with my venting. For she is staying at my house until Darrell is out of danger (pretty much until pneumonia is gone and he is out of ICU).

All of Wednesday I felt like I was going back to the way I was before I met Camille and that is not good, I never liked that "me" at all. I am trying so hard to break down walls and I am unconsciously building them, because I am so comfortable to that "me" that had to protect the weak and emotional Kita.

Another person who was hurt by this was my fiance, JR who just wants to make all things right for me. He wishes to be my hero, how badly I pushed him away, even though I was mentally telling myself, 'no, please I need him'. I wanted JR and Camille not push them away.

Yesterday, as a part of trying to getting better JR took me out to lunch and then we headed over to his house, his efforts, well the best he could and I feel I just kept pushing. It was good and bad experience of being away from the house. I finally saw my great-uncle at SICU, but I want to complain about one thing, I really dislike when VP or Presidents come into town, they make traffic suck when I want to get to the hospital. And of course poor JR had to deal with me. Lord, teach me patience. May only wish is that JR will forgive me. He seems to have, but I still hope he has.

My great-uncle has been opening his eyes, and even though he cannot talk because of the tubes, he is going baby steps forward and not backwards. I only saw him for almost forty-five minutes, but in those minutes I tell you I cried as much as he did. When he saw me he began to cry. I told him I was so sorry for being late. I held his hand the whole time. Before I officially left I did take JR back to see him. I felt bad I did not know that JR was in the waiting room for awhile as I back there.

We left the hospital and I was crying, or just plain depressed. JR was trying his best and what was bad I knew he was and I was embracing that my future HUSBAND was trying to comfort me. Oh how I hate how I allow myself to do stupid things.

JR and I arrived at St. Patrick's for Holy Hour. Though it was thirty minutes, it was thirty minutes of tears and clearing myself of who I was. As I was sitting there, I felt JR holding my hand and then Camille sat next to me (she was already there, but moved up to the front where I was) and she held my other. That is when I really cried because here I was trying to push people away, and these two were sticking by me. I looked up and as I stared at the Host in my tears I made a silent thank you.

One thing I will mention was when we began to sing "Holy God" hymn for the closing of Holy Hour, I allow my emotion to have my voice. Really I feel it was the Holy Spirit who was belting through the song. What I did not know was that Camille, Trevor (her boyfriend), and JR were stopping to listen to me. Trevor to whom I give him my up most thanks for being understandable tells JR that his girl (me) can really sing. I did not know what was said until afterwards in the car as we went to Tommy's Pizza.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I was not expecting this

Just so everyone understands, I have another blog post about Epiphany, but I will post that one later, I do not know when. Yesterday was a scare for me, truly a scare.

I had been woken up by my great-grandmother telling me we needed to get ready, my great-uncle who was put in SICU because he had a slight case of pneumonia was not able to breathe and was wanting us up there. I was a little shocked about this because I was told he was doing just fine, I was unsure was Granny or Darrell over-dramatism this whole ordeal.

After finally getting a hold of the nurse who was caring for him, she explained to me that he was having difficultly breathing and so they had to put on a large oxygen mask. The way it was explained to Granny was he was dying, which to an extent he might have (could still), but placing anxiety to my great-grandmother is not the right thing to do. We got to the SICU about 11am and when we went back there it was not what I was hoping to see.

I was crying, how could in just a matter of a few hours go from talking and a felt fine man to a laying corpse with a breathing tube down his throat. They told us that they had to do it because he was just not breathing correctly, short breathes and gasping for air. It scared me, to the same amount of fear as last year did, maybe even worst because last year I was prepared for him to look ghastly, but this time I was not expecting anything like this. I regretted instantly my intial thoughts when Granny told me that he was having a hard time breathing.

I stayed at the hospital literally until the last time for visiting hours and spoke to his nurse who took over for the nurse whom I did not like, she said that he has double pneumonia and maybe another virus in him right now, she explained it shocked a lot of them because just twenty-four hours ago they had him even sitting in a chair. They were unsure how it happened, but at that moment they wanted to prevent anything else happening to quicken or harm him. They were doing tests, but nothing could confirm what else he has going on inside.

One of the worst things for me yesterday was how much stress I was going through and it was not from Darrell, but from other family members. I guess it was presented to some of them that he was on his deathbed, well we don't know if he was or still is on his deathbed. I know I must be a charitable person, especially as a Christian is part of who I am, but there are times like these where I do not understand how those who never asked how he was or visited him or anything would somehow now what to come and see him if he is dying. My mother reminds me that some are not that close to the family member, but when it comes that time they don't want the regret. I am upset about that answer because if you regret already, then change it. But, of course saying that would be stupid of me, right?

I also will say this, thank you to my manager for understanding why I was calling off from work. I knew that I would not know what was going to happen, but I also knew that being at work when something could happen and Granny was alone at home, I knew in my heart that losing those four hours was what I needed to do, it was right for me to do that. No matter what anyone thinks.

Camille was there with me, she is my godmother and best friend, but also she is like my older sister, she is my Jane Bennett or Elinor Dashwood if you think about it. I am level headed, but sometimes with the worst news I need that older sister to be there for me, when no other family member understands. JR, my dearest fiance and one of the best friends (or he is really my Dearest Friend) was wanting to come up to SICU. I told him he did not need to come because I remember last time when Darrell was in the SICU (so does Camille because she experience this with us), and what a mess JR was in, not only was he anxious, but crying, upset, scared, all mixed in one. I did not want to put JR through that again. I love him so much, there were times I wished I would have asked him to come , but thought against it.

There is one thing I did do, that I was happy about. Because we were unsure if he (Darrell) would make it through the night (for which no phone call was made) and I knew he had been asking ever so often, Camille and I decided with permission by Granny to baptize Darrell. It was a tender moment when Camille and I were there.

He was not moving and really I thought he was unable to hear us, but when Camille  and I both mention that we were going to baptize him, he moved his eyebrows and I even felt him sqeeze my hand. Camille was the one who performed the baptism, to which as the Holy Water flowed upon his forehead, I sensed him relaxing, the stiffness that I experienced with him the last few times I came back to see him, seem to have melted away.

He raised his eyebrows, and even took a deep breathe, but the final thing he did after he was baptize was move his fingers, but not in an anxious way if you get my meaning. He was much more active after that beautiful moment, which the nurse herself said was a good thing.

I came home with Camille who stayed over because if something happened to him, there was a driver and a car right there for Granny. We mention to Granny all that happened and did tell her that we baptized him, she seem to be content and calm down when hearing that and said that was good, for it is in the Lord's Hands now.

One thing I needed which I know JR can admit I do need when I am very upset, stressed, and just feel like the world is crashing down, is to be held. I use to always cuddle with my grandmother, Jackie when she was alive and so for me it is natural to cuddle, Camille held me last night as a mother or sister would do. I needed it. Also Camille knew very well I needed something to make me laugh, but something calming to watch so she put on "Howl's Moving Castle" to which sooth me enough to fall asleep as she held me.

Throughout the night I would wake up and hope that the phone never rang, that he made it through the night, that he was fighting the pneumonia and he was winning. I prayed for that. I woke up finally and pretty much will quote Camille as she noticed I was awake, "No news is good news." She is right, but I do worry and I know that Granny and I will be back over to the SICU today.

In the end the morning began with me crying a little because of the stress and fear, but I did say prayers with Camille and I know that I am spiritually alright to go another round of the hospital, but I am physically and mentally drained from the stress that is caused by family and my allowing that stress to get to me.

Pray for my great-uncle and my great-grandmother.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Monday, January 9, 2012

20s Group: Year of Growing

As Camille summed it up yesterday about 20s Group, "the first year of the group was a year of learning, it is now a year and this is the year of growing". And personally I believe she is correct in this assumption. It has been close to a year since the group was founded and yes we are still small, we knew this was a learning process for all of us.

20s Group CORE team meeting went well, pretty much we focused on trying to outreach to other 20-something/Young Adult groups in the diocese, but also outreach in other ways, like contacting St. Gabriel's Catholic Radio 820AM and seeing if they could help us in our growth as a group.

With that being said we discussed that we must not try to get our PGC (Protect God's Children) done, that way we can volunteer and then interact with soon-to-be graduating High School Seniors and see if they would like to look into coming to some of the meetings. I think there will be interest, if we outreach.

Which to my joy I have started a little by contacting or really speaking to someone I know who is working for 820AM and hopefully with many prayers something will happen.

Another thing we did focus on was how we need as a group attain more long-term goals and not short-term. As our president stated, "I don't want anyone to get burned out." It is true we haven't really looked into long-term goals at all. I am hoping with some ideas I did send our President and another team member there will be some goals.

Please everyone keep the Saint Patrick's 20s Group in your prayers. Our Year of Growing begins....

Ms. Nikita, OP

Friday, January 6, 2012

What It Means...

While I was in the waiting room yesterday my mom and I decided to start looking up things about her side of the family tree, especially since my little sister is doing a 4-H project, my mom wants to help my little sister out with getting it started and further research on each person afterwards that Kiya will do on her own.

Really for me the family tree means a lot for me. It is something precious for me because I understand where I come from, why some family members act the way they do is from where their family is from or really their family history. Of course you will have those in the world, and that doesn't exclude my own family members who will constantly tell you it doesn't matter they are dead. My uncle Bill was like that yesterday and as I mention my patience was waning thin when he said that.

They are dead, but they are not at all, they are very much alive and it is not just because of my faith (for I believe that yes your body is gone, but the soul is ever alive and is either going through purification in Purgatory or in Heaven), but of one factor, that I live so they in turn live. Their hardships are not forgotten because I in turn am a result of all they went through to live how every many years ago.

Think about it for a second, if you are a Daughter of the Revolution is not true that means your family member risked his life so you could live in the New World as their own country, the United States of America? Yes, so you are the result of their trials. They live really and truly because of you.

Somehow, yes that song, "He Lives in You" from Lion King II comes into mind, but in a sense it is true. I found out that I am a Daughter of the Revolution not only on my Father's side, but also on my Mother's side. I found out that if I look deep enough I see where my family married into the Cherokee Nation. I am still looking and finding new things about my family, but in the end it is really learning NEW things about ME.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

How I can screw up things so easily.

Darrell and his surgery went well, but there are other details I will not mention because I have no permission by Darrell or the family to discuss on my blog and that much I will respect for them.  I will say I was utterly stressed out. Much of it was probably due to the fact I had no sleep whatsoever, but to snap the way I did to even JR was not me, I allowed stress to overcome my emotions.

JR was thinking of my well-being which was maybe what I needed, but I did not view it as that, I viewed it as I was the one to be relied on and if not there for whole time what good would that do for Darrell or for that matter for Granny. When JR picked me up from the hospital after I saw Darrell in his room (which I was at the hospital for twelve hours in total) I vented, but felt that all I was doing was hurting JR, whom I consider the other whole of me.

JR did put logic in to how to help de-stress me, going to Holy Hour. Holy Hour I was trying to just clear my mind, how difficult that was really to do because all I really wanted was to cry aloud to Jesus and say, “Jesus, help me to have the confidence to suffer and in turn find inner peace.” I wrote a little in my journal, to which I was so stressed out I do not know what happened, but I caused JR to feel hurt or upset with me. I screwed up again I told Jesus, why can I not screw things up.

I was finally left alone and I cried as I looked at the altar. I softly cried because I knew one of the Friars was actually there and I did not want to bother them. (They are so busy with other things, actually) Finally, after a while I left where I kneeled took a solemn genuflect with another prayer for confidence and inner peace. I was found by JR, to who was trying console me in my sorrows. I wanted to not ruin his night, I wanted us to go into the 20s Group meeting that was being held in one of the parish rooms, but I knew I needed to calm down before I got in there.

JR did in fact go in the meeting without me as I went into the bathroom to calm down, cried a little more, but I knew I had to get to the meeting. I could not be by myself right now. As I finally made it to the meeting the only thing I can mention is there were two people to whom, I have tried to keep my patience with, but with how stressed I was, I knew I would have little patience or none at all. I stayed quiet for the most part, holding my Rosary, rubbing the beads. JR was a little disappointed because he wanted to help my mood and certainly he knew I would get quieter as these two people are around.

After the meeting, JR took me to Boston’s where the group was going to eat, JR who has classes and work the next day I told him to please go home so he could sleep. I know he needs to sleep. I know I selfishly wanted him there, but I was certainly not going to be selfish with him so close to graduation. He agreed (even though he did not really want to) and after a little chat and at least two kisses and a comforting hand I left the car.

Camille and her boyfriend, Trevor were trying their best to keep my mind off the whole day. Camille knew I was hungry and so she and Trevor shared a pizza with me. I stuck near them and would not sit anywhere else because I wanted to feel comfortable not uneasy and like I said since I was stressed out I did not want to lose it at Boston’s because two people, or really one person bug me and make me feel so darn uncomfortable.

Once we all left Boston’s Camille took me home. She allowed me to vent like JR did, and though I hate doing that to either one of them, they always make me vent or won’t let me go until I do. Camille is very much more than just a best friend, she is my Godmother and older sister, so when she held my hand like a mother would I knew she was trying comfort me all she could while driving. Both Camille and JR do so much for me and yet I screw things up with them because I am so emotional distraught a lot and especially this week.

I got home and made sure Granny was alright, to which she was. I called JR and we talked for a little bit and then literally after changing into my PJs and laying my head down I was out cold. I thank the Lord for that little answered prayer, I did not want to be staying up and thinking at that time. I know what I would do if I could not sleep, I would think down on myself and I did not want to do that. I wanted the day to end.

So this morning I woke up and was disappointed in myself for I forgot in my tired state to put my phone ringer on loud, and so I missed Camille’s early call to say prayers together. But, I did wake up in time to catch JR calling me. Though at first the conversation did not go how I would have liked, because he wanted to discuss the previous blog entry, because I mentioned something about Camille and I and our friendship.

He was worried and I guess you could say disappointed by me that I never opened up to him about this issue. I guess what I did not do with that blog entry was mention that it was in past tense. I would not want to go into that argument or really it was just a little dispute, but still it was not how I wanted to wake up after dreaming of him holding me as I cried out.

But, this little dispute ended after I explained it was in past tense. He and I then just talked, and that is what I needed really. I am happy to say that I will see him tonight because I do not have to go into work until 10pm. I need to see him before I go into work tonight. I really do. Another thing that is happening today is I know Granny and I (with my uncle Bill driving) are going to see Darrell at OSU Medical Center. I am hoping everything that was going on will be fixed and all will be well enough for him to want us to visit.
Right now that should be all, but I wanted to write even just a little of what was going on yesterday.

God bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Darrell's Surgery and Thoughts

Well today is the day and it is difficult to not worry about Uncle Darrell, because there are chances that anything could happen. I could not go to sleep for anything because why go to sleep, I would have to wake at four in the morning to help him get ready for today.

I listened to him cry as he began to get ready. He is so scared of dying and yet he wants this to be over so he can live. It is so difficult and yet how I can I not say I am scared as well for him. I was with him during registering in and going to his preparing room until pre-OP, it felt like a sense of relief and  a sense of fear, but I ran to Mary and began to pray the Sorrowful Mysteries.

As I prayed I began to reflect from yesterday what happened. Camille came over, which was a surprised after Sunday I thought, well I really don't know what I was thinking, other than I want this defensive wall to go away, I want the young vibrant woman that God created. I told Camille one time that I felt that my real self was a keep (Scottish castle) with many walls and instead being a home with a defense it became a fortress to kept from total elimination. I even said there is a moat even.

What I did not know is how much I hurt her in the end with allowing myself to go back to what I know, what I considered my safety. I did not know that it would cause her to cry on Monday, worried that she would be losing her best friend. It comes as a shock I thought I was losing her instead. How strange it is to think one thing when you in turn are hurting what you are trying to not be hurt by. Camille and I did speak and though it was not enough, it was a start. I pray that this is the start of the one resolutions. May I keep working at it.

As I was writing we were updated with my Uncle. I need to say my prayers now, but I will write later on.

God bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Once Upon A Time

As I stated in my last post, I have started watching "Once Upon A Time" on ABC (thanks to Hulu). I have to say that I am very picky with series. I value a good story and good characters. ABC had lost me after "Desperate Housewives" and a few others. But, I think they have redeem me to watching at least just one show.

"Once Upon A Time" has a great amount of character and a story to back it up. What a twist on fairy tales, I think they really give credit to actually fairy tales, not what political correct and close your children's eyes on the graphic gore of the stories. (I remember being read the real tales by the Grimm and etc. which were more gory than Disney) Of course I had to get mad that they took away the good looking man with the accent! I loved his accent and literally said, finally Emma will have some light into what her son has been trying to tell her. But, of course he has to die! (Sorry I am spoiling for others, but come on, how many people have not seen this series that did not want to)

I am actually hoping to watch this series more (which means Hulu is going to be my friend or DVRing is the next best thing, but it just means begging the Great-Uncle to not delete it) and maybe NCIS will not be the only show I really watch on television.

Is not funny that I watch shows from channels that I would only watch oh about what fifteen-twenty years ago? I am off to bed, finally, but wanted to write a post about the new series I will be watching. My friends Emily and Nikki will be please! :)

My Tuesday in a nutshell

I slept the whole day away pretty much, which is never good for me because then I will want to stay up all night and that never helps the sleeping pattern I need at the moment.

What I wanted to do today was work on a novel that I have been working on in my mind really, for the past three weeks. I have written maybe a paragraph or so of it, but that doesn't stop the hope I will actually finish this story. It might not be this year, but I hope to have a majority of done. I will keep everyone updated on the progress of this story on my writing blog that I have with deviant, but I might if I need to use a site that I know to post pieces or the whole thing on to get people's reactions, but I am unsure. Keep it in your prayers.

Another thing I wanted to do was read, I have new books in the collection and I would really like to read them.  My only hope is that I can read more than twelve books this year, because it would help reach my goal of beating my Daddy (will never happen, but can always hope). If anyone really wants to know, I am hoping to reach President John Adams, for he read close to 8,000 books in his lifetime. I really want to do the same or at least get close.

One more thing I wanted to do was call back my friend who called me while I was at work. I felt so bad that I could of gotten to talk to her and I wanted to call her, but of course I slept. Ah, hopefully before I go to work I will give her a ring.

A few hours ago JR and I had our date night which was a home-cooked meal, something JR found called, "Pepped Up Chicken". We tweaked it a little bit, but otherwise wonderfully good. We watched "State Fair" a 1945 movie that is one of my favorite Rodger and Hammerstein musical.

Now, I am right now watching episodes of "Once Upon A Time" on Hulu. I am finding it to be interesting, I am hoping to be up-to-date with this series. Too bad I cannot work at 10pm, so I can see this show more often.

God Bless,

Monday, January 2, 2012

The New Year 2012

It is coming to the end of the first day of 2012, the end of my birthday. It is difficult to explain how much of a roller coaster my birthday was this year compared to any other. It started with a rush of joy for I got out of work literally thirty minutes before the ball dropped. I surprised that I was going to Camille's for New Year. (Which started a lot of trouble of just not staying at home for New Year's) At first I was excited, I had high hopes of what this could be, for once a birthday party, not 'oh it is Kita's birthday we will maybe tag it along with New Year'.

And so the first fifteen minutes of my birthday I felt content and like I mentioned above to have high hopes. It did not last long and instead of going into deep details about it, I will just give you a few of the main points. First, I felt that whatever this party was, it was an excuse for certain people to cuddle and have their time. (I am not saying that JR had that in mind too, but I was thinking later in the morning, not even before it hits 2am) With that being said, that entail bring second, I began to feel no self worth and went straight back into the girl who is has been there while the TRUE me will hide away. I felt feelings that I have not tried to bring back since I was at least seventeen, and it scared me. Which brings me to the finally point, I was happy that JR found me before I did do something I would regret.

Once I finally calmed myself down and JR held me enough I finally gave way to sleep, feeling I cried so much that my energy was zapped from me. When I woke up, I still felt my birthday was truly never my birthday, the birthday was only for two hours (well not even an hour). It was after awhile and much pulling of my teeth that I finally broke down and told my godmother my feelings, one thing I do not want to do is hurt her feelings and even as I told her, she was not feeling good, for her stomach something decided not to settle well. She with all her honesty told me that she had planned nothing that happened in the early hours, she actually had a plan. What a way to make myself feel worst (which I did not tell her) and after awhile I finally sat next to her.

What most people do not understand is that Camille is a mother hen, older sister, best friend, and godmother  all wrapped in one, the one thing that she has done that for most would think is weird, but I find comforting and what is needed, is she will give me hugs, let me cry on her shoulders, or just hold one of my hands as I tell her what bothers me. It is something that I do not think I could do with any other person other than well my future husband, JR and my own little sister, Kiya. Afterwards, JR and I left for Mass, I felt an ease off my shoulders, but question is was that good or bad?

To collect my thoughts and give you a run down of the rest of the day goes as the following:

  • Went to Mass and made it before the opening hymn.
  • Went to the Columbus Museum of Arts with JR, Br. Humbert (a friend who was home), Ted, and Emily. It was a lot of fun actually got to see some amazing works and saw things that I never noticed until looking at them closely, but I have learned I am more a fan of traditional art, and that might need to be another blog entry sometime soon. 
  • Went to Applebees, which before that I got my present from JR's Aunt and Uncle from Texas and I got a new wallet. While at Applebees I received a free desert and a happy birthday song. It was something I am NOT use to AT ALL. Great server too!
  • Went to Easton and I bought a few things. 
    • Hot Topic: A Ninja Turtles Sweater Jacket (50% off)
    • Barnes & Noble: YOUCAT, The second installment of the "The Outlander" Series, and finally State Fair (1945 version) to which I would like write a blog about that too. 
Once JR and I did all that we came back to home (my home) and yeah, that is all. 

God Bless and Happy New Year, 
Ms. Nikita, OP