Friday, December 30, 2011

My Response to Jennifer Fulwiler's Entry

Credit to: St. Joseph Providence
Jennifer Fulwiler is one of my favorite bloggers, if you cannot tell with my list of recommended blogs to read. I really find a connection with her and it might be that we are converts, and majority of the time what she has wrote about I can really question and think about. And that is what happened today while reading one of her latest posts on the National Catholic Register. (Shown Here)

What had begun all this was her last questions: "Do you think the vocations crisis is the result of fewer men and women being open to God's call to religious life, or the result of fewer worldly payoffs weeding out those who aren't serious? In general, do you think that there is a smaller percentage of serious believers in today's Church than there were in other eras?"

Quite frankly it is a very difficult question to answer, but I think by my experience in what little time since my conversion I feel I am not the right one to answer, but I do wish to response with my thoughts. So, I ask those to forgive me if I make no sense. Thank you in advance.

First, I have seen in the recent years a growth in priestly and religious vocations since I decided to listen to God and come home, I think for me it just was never exposed until then.Because it is not exposed to us who were once in the secular world only thought there was a decease, and that there were not any serious believers, but a minority. If you step away from the secular realm you can see that there is more than what you thought was there.

I will say that Jennifer has a point that there isn't a mass amount discerning in those two vocations and that is due to there are no worldly payoffs; really in my mind the secular world and sometimes even parents (think about how many of them wish to have their children with them to the hips and with how few children are being born, but I digress) has placed ideas in those who hear the call but don't answer because they are told otherwise. Are they bad Catholics? No. Are they not serious enough? No. But, would we like them to answer that call and do what in the end would be better for them? Yes.

There are few examples in my experience where I know this is the case. Take for example the Dominican Order, especially the Providence of Saint Joseph, just in the past two years there has been an increase in discernment into the Order. Let alone in 2009-2010 there were TWENTY-TWO men who discerned into the Order. Of them I believe 17 remain, that is double of what the Order is use to receiving in a yearly basis. It was not just the men who saw increase, but the women, too. Both religious communities, Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia and Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist had in 2009-2010 at least 20-22 women discern to become religious.

But, I have seen a downside to this, while those two communities are strong in apostolic, there is another aspect to the Dominican Order and that is Prayer. If anyone doesn't know Saint Dominic and the founding of the Dominican Order, Saint Dominic began with women, founding a convent of cloister women, for he believed that defend the faith there must be warriors of prayer. There I have not seen a huge increase, but I have seen those thinking of going into the cloister communities and other religious Orders thriving (look at Mother Angelica's community). If you expose those who to hear the call I expect they will not allow the secular world or anything get in the way. I think of one of my patrons who is one portion of my religious name in the Dominican Laity, Blessed Diana d'Andalo when she was exposed to the call of her vocation she did not let anything stop her, for even when she was physically locked up and injured she was emotional and mentally willing to discern her vocation as a Dominican Nun.

All in all, did I answer the question? In a sense I did, but maybe it was not explained in the best possible way. I hope that people will response to not only my blog entry, but Jennifer Fulwiler's too. Please do!

God Bless,
Nikita, OP

The New Year Resolutions

I was going through my Google Reader and saw something The Anchoress wrote (see entry here ). It made me think about what my resolutions would be and why. I thought about it for awhile and this is what I came up with and hopefully I will work on entries throughout the year to see if I am keeping to my resolutions.

First one would be to finally get through the New Testament, it is something I have wanted to do since my conversion. How can you defend the teachings of the Church without the backing of where the teachings come from, which is Sacred Scripture.

Second, keeping up with my prayers (Liturgy of the Hours) and devotions (such as the Rosary and Novenas). I have been lacking a little with this because of issues with life, but not doing this daily my days turn pretty sour.

Third, take more walks or just going outside. Sticking myself inside does not help me at all, I am coming to terms that I am needing fresh air.

Fourth, becoming more social in the manners of inserting myself in conversations and not allowing myself to think it is not worth it.

Fifth, to write more in my blog, I want to be able to express myself more fully, but also blogging is a great way for me to defend and speak what I understand and know. To do this will in turn I hope help me in the long run with inserting myself into the world, but yet not be of the world.

Sixth, to write my stories out even just rough drafts, this includes my conversion story.

Seventh, write more hand-written letters, for I love getting letters in the mail, and in turn I need to write more out.

Eighth, to read more books, so I can beat my Daddy's record which if I am correct is close to five hundred or more.

Ninth, to have more self-confidence and raise my self-esteem, this is one of those essential things that I need to work on, while others I could do another year, this one thing is not going to happen unless I push myself to do something about it.

Finally, to go to Daily Mass more often, hopefully with my great-uncle getting better, I can do what I use to do which is go to Daily Mass once a week. It helped me a lot with getting out and just letting things go, when they needed to be let go.

Are there resolutions that you have in mind for 2012?

God Bless,
Nikita, OP

20s Group's Christmas and New Year's Party

It was our first ever Christmas/New Year’s Party, we had a good group of people there. I can say that I now wish I did not eat dinner before I arrived for Adoration, because there was food at the party….bad Nikita.

I did mingle, but not so much that would be as I told one person who I know Alyssa, I just feel that sometimes if I feel I cannot contribute in the conversations I will just walk away. (She caught me after I sat down and was starting to read a book Camille gave me for Christmas). It is very true actually, I will feel that I should just not insert myself and will then crawl back into a corner.

Either way the party was good, spent a good time just catching up with people of the 20s Group. One thing that did get me shocked was that Mary, the president of the group lent me a book (it is called “The Outlander”) and what I did not know is that she actually did not lend it to me, but in fact gave it to me. I was shocked, but overall excited because now I can re-read it again and highlight what I find interesting (which I do that a lot with many of my books).

JR and I left the party around 9pm-10pm, I think, I cannot say what time. We came back to my house and said Night Prayers together. He is still learning how to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, but it takes time. Which I need to point out tomorrow is the feast of the Holy Family. Hopefully, in the next few hours I will have an entry about this feast day.

God Bless,
Nikita, OP

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

One negative equals writing down three positives…

That is what Camille said in this morning conversation before we began our prayers. I guess I really worried her because I just would not text her back (well I did maybe once), nor would I answer her phone calls when she was able to talk to me during her work hours. The last time that happened I felt stupid for calling.

Anyways, the conversation came down to what I wrote in the title. That I should write down one negative thought I have and then write down three positive thoughts. I would like to try this, but I would say that I would see that I would have good positives and still not feel any better. Does that make any sense?

She reminds me that I need to save the last text she sent me when I do not understand how special I am to her. I kept the text, but doesn’t help that I feel my main issue is I am just not use to having friends that want to be around me and stick around me even after a year.

To have friends who wish to know me personally not just chit-chat at school or just online (which a few friends there are exceptions) . Camille tells me that I in returned gave JR and her great gifts by being their friend (to her a sister and goddaughter to him a fiancé).

I just don’t know what I have given them in return, except this depressing decay I call myself (which I know I am not always depressing, but you know what I mean).

Hopefully, I can be better and talk better to those who I consider friends, those dear to me, and not worry if I will have friends.

God Bless,


P.S. I know JR is going to kick my butt because I never went to bed.

Reflections on a early Wednesday Morning

It is literally 12:39am and I am not asleep, why some might ask, well I am not even for sure right now. I had a wonderful time with my fiancé, JR whom made me dinner. I like when he makes dinner because I know in future years he will not get to do that often with going into the Navy.

But, my favorite part of the night was just holding his hand, letting all those bad thoughts go away. I did not have to think about any of that, just JR holding my hand. I actually did say a little prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord for showing me that love existed for me.

It could not be helped that yesterday was our 30th month together and on January 8th it will be exactly one year since he asked me to marry him in the Mercy Chapel at the convent of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist. It is amazing to think that JR would stay that long with me, with everything I exposed to him and how much crap I have put him through. But, I think that is where I am reminded of how much he loves me. I truly thank God for that too.

It is because of this knowledge that I started listening to some love songs I grew up with. It is silly, but I wanted to dance around the living room and sing the top of my lungs with the music. It is a “Sound of Music” moment I call it. I swear I should have been born during the Golden Hollywood time because it would not be so weird to sing out loud or go see a musical. :D I am thinking I will be having some of these songs played at my wedding reception.

Because I feel I should rant about this, I am really upset with one of my presents, Kingdom Hearts II for it will not work for me. My little brother, Ryan said he will return it and then get another Kingdom Hearts II even if it means getting it brand new (which I wonder is there any?). I was so excited to play Kingdom Hearts II since I have not played the game since July 2009. Oh well, guess I can wait a little longer.

God Bless,

Nikita, OP

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

When the snow begins....instead there is rain.

I am utterly tired and I have no idea why. I have also been ignoring my dear friend, Camille. It is probably I am ignoring her calls because I feel that I am just bugging her and making her feel she has to be around me so I do not want her to feel that way. I might also be tired because I am still recovering from not sleeping that much last week. Maybe I am still stuck in that rut, but won't admit it.

I recently began reading a book that Camille got me for Christmas. The title is called, "Inner Peace" which has excerpt from another book. I am liking it already, but I am not giving my full opinion of the book, until I finish it. Which reminds me I need to write again on the Three Bookish Girls blog, because I am failing to update as much as I would like.

I wanted to write on this blog what I got for Christmas for I forgot to in the last one. So, here we go. Christmas Eve at Granny's I received: PlayStation 2, Kingdom Hearts 2, PlayStation memory card, one white blouse, one back skirt, socks, knee high hose, three spiritual books, a pair of boots, "The American Patriot's Almanac", and Thundercats shirt. Christmas Eve with my Daddy I received: PJ's, 2 new tops, three books of my favorite poets, and 2 DVDs. Christmas with my Mom I received: Paint Your Own Dream catcher, Plastic Candy Cane filled with M&Ms, and a laptop. Over at JR's Aunt's house I received: A check ($20), Bath&Body Works lotion, hand sanitizer, and body wash, and 2 $25 gift cards to Lane Bryant. Finally from JR's mom I got a brand new OSU shirt.

I still have presents from my stepdad's family, but since I was unable to go they are with my mom. I feel bad because it unfair to not see family that even had the ability to get you something. My stepdad's family and I are on tight thread because I cannot stand being compared to the other granddaughter who is the same age as I. I for a few years just let it slip by me, but after I would hear it constantly, I could not feel I could be around the family very much. Is that wrong of me?

Yesterday, JR and I went to Polaris to use our gift cards. It was fun, but I feel that I might of been a bitch towards JR when I should of been more understand and having a glorious time. It only happened after we left the store where I got my gift cards from, and that was at the end of our shopping day. The rest of the night went well as I expected.

Today we are going to see each other again, this is the most we have seen each other in a long while. It is wonderful, but I am wishing I could call Camille, but I am not wanting to, if that makes any sense. Well, I fear I will end this with a reminder that in five days I will be celebrating my 24th birthday.

Today is another rainy day and I am praying to God for a birthday miracle that I get some snow. The rain is depressing me.

Oh, and before I forget please pray for a dear friend of mine whom I met this past year. He was discerning with the Dominican Order and just today I got word from him that he feels he is not called to be Dominican Priest. Pray for him as he goes through his discernment to figure out what God is calling him to do.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Monday, December 26, 2011

Merry Christmas

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Since my last entry, I have improved in my mood, there are multiple reasons for this one of the reasons is Fr. Michael, OP the pastor of St. Patrick's parish, but is also Spiritual Director for the 20s Group decided that it would be nice since there were few of us and it being the last week of Advent that during Holy Hour to hear Confessions as well.

What a blessing and I thanked God for this little answered prayer. I had wanted to go to Confession, but just had not had the time to go. Thanks be God for that wonderful gift. (That reminds me to write about something, but I will do that later)

Christmas was very good, I got to spend with my families and got wonderful gifts no matter if it was just a hug and love. I will say the best part of Christmas was when my fiance, JR opened his Christmas presents from both Camille and I. We got him Volume One and Two of the Liturgy of the Hours. His reaction was not expected. He began to cry and was I wanted to cry, for he said to the effect that he would never deserve such a wonderful gift.

I will blog more later, but wanted to write a little and say, Merry Christmas, hope the next ten days of Christmas will be wonderful for all of you.

God Bless,

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Have you ever been at a low point and it is just morning?

I really wish I had Internet at home at times, because I would actually get more involved not only on this blog, but the other blogs I am associated with. Other reasons is I could actually keep myself up-to-date with what is going on in the world. I know many would say, well that is what radio, television, and newspapers are for, but when you do not have a lot of options for getting good sources of news and opinions you kind of just want to escape from looking at any of it.

Certainly today I am at a low, it might be just for the major fact that there has been nothing but constant cold rain, when there should be snow. I know, I know you all are happy there is no snow, well quite frankly it is my favorite season, winter. I am telling you I am not that depressed, I promise you that during winter season, if it feels like snow. Watching "White Christmas" truly takes on the weather pattern of the Central Ohio area.

Another reason I am at a low is that I am missing JR, a lot! When Camille confirmed that she was visiting her boyfriend (a good friend of mine and JR's too), I literally felt alone. She tried her best to remind me that when JR and I first started dating we saw each other a lot, well why don't we see each other more often now.

I think a lot about how Abigail and John Adams felt when they, too felt alone. I know that many would say how will deal with military life, right? Personally, I do not think it will bother me, because I know he will be coming home a certain amount time. He will be coming home to me, not alone. I can handle that and long for those moments and best yet, once married, our children will be that foundation that I need to hang in there and find joy for they will remind me of the love that is shared between JR and I.

But, for right now, I am utterly at my low point and it is not like I am angry at God, heavens no! Actually, sometimes I think when I am at this low the Holy Spirits works a lot in me especially when I write. I just ask for prayers that I get through this day, without crying, without reaching out and having envy surround me, when I would rather have love. I want to be able to not snap at those whom I love that are going through hell right now, when they need me most, when others forget them.

Before I leave this entry, I have good news, surgeon said my great-uncle can go through surgery and so on January 5th, I will be sitting in the waiting room with my computer waiting for the wonderful news that my great-uncle is truly on his way of recovery. That means more time to write as well, unless something happens, I pray not.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, OP

Temporary Promises into the Dominican Laity

December 11th, 2011 I took my Temporary Promises into the Dominican Laity with Emily (Sr. Lucy) and Michael (Br. Albert Thomas). I wasn’t in the best of moods, but I can say that I felt something during the time I took my promises.

In those fleeting moments I felt that warm acceptance; that deep hug from your parents when all is good. I knew then that St. Dominic embraced me within his arms to say, “Welcome my daughter, you have found home.” It was a beautiful feeling, too soon gone with the way my mood was going. Even with my mood being the worst it was wonderful to finally take the next step to fully devote my life to the Rule of St. Dominic.

There are a few “cool” things now that I have taken steps towards my final promises. One, this means when I die, I have the option of wearing the habit of the Order. I think is amazing and quite frankly beautiful. The simplicity of this reminds me that when we die we take nothing with us but our souls and the sins we are stained with, the habit becomes our way of saying, “I leave the earthly world with nothing, but all my love for You as a Dominican.”

 Second, I can put at the end of my name, OP (Order of Preachers). To many that would be nothing and very vain of me, but placing the O.P. at the end of my name, reminds me that I am a faithful and loving daughter to Saint Dominic.

God Bless,
Ms. Nikita, O.P.
(Sr. Diana Jordan)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Old me gets the better of the new me....(December 17th Entry)

What does that subject title mean? Personally it is difficult to explain, but in the simplest terms the old me would constantly beat myself up emotionally and physically. I had it in my mind that I was not worthy of anything and that the only purpose of my life was to be used. That my needs were not worthy enough to be noticed. That old self could be considered chemical imbalance and experience of an abusive childhood.

Lately these past few weeks I have been beating myself up more often in the emotional sense, feeling the sense that I am selfish, when really I am just lonely. Personally, I know everyone has lives and would be rude of me to ask anyone including my future husband to drop everything to spend time with me, but that just makes me feel worst that I just do not have that ability timing things right.

There are other things that I have been beating myself for, that some people only speak to me because they feel sorry for me not having anyone to talk to. Also, feelings that I am not smart enough to hold a conversation on things (literature and etc.) and feel like I am constantly reminded of my stupidity. I know that many do not mean to do that to me.

Last night kind of took a turn for the worst I felt that I might of pushed my future husband to far, when I never mean to do that. I feared he wanted the ring back, that I was too much to handle anymore. He was upset that I would think that, but could you blame me, I was hurting him for something so stupid. In the end after getting off from work at 2am, I knew all was alright. It still bothered me that I did that to not only him, but myself.

This morning my Godmother and I were talking, for almost an hour about this issue. It scares her, but me as well that my old self seems to push through when I have come so far to being a better person. What can I do? Pray, it will take time, I know that, but one thing I know with talking to not only my Godmother and my fiance, I am determined to not keep this up.

Another thing is we are hoping this is a chemical imbalance and now that I finally got my meds filled hopefully this imbalance will be balanced and I will be in better terms with myself. But, I cannot dumb it down into just being in my brain, there is more to it.

Please pray for me and God Bless,

Friday, December 9, 2011

Thank you Patrick Madrid

I was reading Patrick Madrid's Blog and there was this wonderful video and now I wish to share it on my blog:

Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

Thirty-two years ago on this day Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen died. It was just this past year that I began learning about Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen. I own two of his written works, but I have yet to read them, I need to.

How did I meet Archbishop Sheen, well when I was looking for a book to read at my parish, I noticed this one book, it was small, but seem very interesting. The title of this book was: Lessons on Faith and Trust. I thought, this look interesting. I checked out the book and how right I was. It was interesting, his way of writing was like he was speaking to me though he been dead for years.

I always know when I like a book I want to take a pencil and highlight sentences. I had to hold back a lot because not only did I want to highlight sentences, but write in the margins how I liked certain passages and etc.

After that reading that book I began researching little things about the Archbishop. It was when I was going through my lessons for my formation into the Dominican Laity that I learned that Archbishop Sheen was a Third Order Dominican, that right there was amazing. Ever since then I wanted to learn more about him. I hope that I will learn more about Archbishop Sheen and with asking his prayers to intercede for me in my discernment into my vocation of the Dominican Laity that his cause to Sainthood will go through. :)

"No one yet has ever left the Body of Christ or His Church for a reason, but many have left it for a thing."

For the repose of the soul of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, pray for us!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Immaculate Conception of Mary and my reflection

Today is the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of Mary. It is today that I reminded of an event that happened not too long after my baptism. Most know that I am very devout and not afraid to tell others that I am Catholic. One thing that many Protestants and Non-Christians like to push is that Catholics are nothing but worshipers of Mary and believe that Mary was without sin.

It was this issue that was directed to me in a conversation. It was not a yelling matter, but it did get heated. I, at the time could not defend the Church without having my Catechism in hand (still cannot at times), but there is one thing that always helps, Catholicism makes sense best because it is logical.

I explained, Jesus was without sin, correct? Yes, they said, well I mentioned, if He not only God, but is also Man His humanity must be without sin, right? They acknowledge that and I added, so His Humanity came from His MOTHER. Just like DNA, He would have the DNA of His Mother, so if she was not conceived without sin, Jesus would have sin, am I not correct? They claimed that since He is God it would not matter if Mary was with or without sin, Jesus was able to overcome that because He is Divine.

When I listened to them I literally just shook my head, I could not understand and yet I could not defend what I felt my heart say was wrong. I knew then that the Holy Spirit was burning inside me. I looked at them and said to the effect, it would make no sense to be a Son of Mary if He only needed to be Divine. Why be born of Mary, why also be Man? It seemed they could only say, because God did it that way. That ticked me off a lot.

That conversation also brought up the idea of why we "worship" Mary (I call it honor, but yeah) when it does not matter that she was the Mother of God. Alright, hold up, this young Virgin, who was given the free will to say no, but instead said YES to being Mother of God does not matter! They said she could of been any woman, it doesn't matter who His Mother was. Let me think about this, Mary was just an object and nothing more, is that what you are saying? They did not acknowledge the bluntness of my question, but in their answer that is what they meant. Jesus, would not of had told His beloved disciple this is YOUR MOTHER if she was just some random woman.

Enough of my rant of that conversation, the main point of the previous text was to show that we, as Catholics must understand and defend the Teachings of the Church, but also defend not only our mother, but the Triune God. I was reading the Meditation of the Day (which was by Fr. Marie-Dominique Philippe, OP) from the Magnificat and what stood out, "The mystery of the Immaculate Conception allows us to understand how Mary is surrounded by the Father with great tenderness and love than the love surrounding Eve before her sin. Through this mercy, Mary is able to enter into a unique intimacy with the Father".

Today is the day that we honor God's gift to Mary to be born without sin. Mary is the gift to us all to be OUR Mother, let us remember her Fiat!

God Bless,

Favorite Advent/Christmas Songs and Hymns

Favorite Tunes check out the entry I wrote on Livejournal about my favorite Advent/Christmas Songs and Hymns.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Nikita's gets a Writer's Blog...not another blog :O

I am taking a page from a dear friend of mine's book. I have decided that I need a blog that is just for my writing. I thought this would be a good idea because I want a blog that I could write exclusively on just that, my stories, essays, poems, etc.

Does that mean I will not talk about my writings, absolutely not! I will post in any of my entries if I have updated the writing blog. I only hope that many of you who read my blog read my writing blog as well and maybe help me through my brain-storming process or give me good advice on what to do next or change.

And just to let you all know, I am using my pen name that I made for my account and account, which is: Abigail Darcy. Abigail for Abigail Adams and Darcy, well you all should know whose influence that was laid upon.

I hope to see all of you checking out the writer's blog. Which if you look at the tabs on the blog you will see a tab that states: My Writing Blog. That will open to my writer's blog. :)

Thank you and God bless,

PS Who else loves this picture that I found on

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Remembering Pearl Harbor

"Yesterday, Dec. 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy - the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan." -President Franklin D. Roosevelt

How many forget this day, like it is just another day? How many say, this is nothing, it is of the past? This is not just another day, no this is a day that left many dead, to drown in their steel tombs. Their brothers in arms trying to not only live, but save others.

Tomorrow is the 70th Anniversary of the attack of Pearl Harbor. My push to have people to remember this day is not because I am a history major. No, I wish people to remember for they are lucky they never have had to go through something like that. We witnessed 9/11 on a television, but we truly never experienced it. Same goes for those who don't care or even know about the significance of tomorrow.

It rips my heart completely out when I listen to people tell me that December 7th is nothing, it doesn't matter. Really why is it that the Holocaust is constantly remembered and spoken about, but this event is only spoken about briefly and normally just on the anniversary of the attack?

These men who either died that day or live with the horror of those days are none other than then those who fought and served their country. I remember reading about Pearl Harbor how December 7th morning it was a Sunday, so it was relax day, some went to Church, some slept in, some were off doing their duties.

Wasn't it just an average day to them? It will never be for them now, and yet we don't care. One day I want a shirt that says, "I have never forgotten" and place this picture of the burning Arizona, for which all her dead are still entombed within her.

Here is the speech that President Franklin D. Roosevelt said the day after the attack:

To honor this day I have decided to pray the Office of the Dead as well as the prayers for the day for the souls of those who died that day and the veterans who were there at Pearl Harbor seventy years ago. I wish I had a book about that day, but I do not. (Sad fact really) for I would like to read the names of those who were killed that day.

At the end of this post there will be a post of one of the somber songs that is for those who have fallen for the Navy.

God Bless,

Teresa Tomeo's "Extreme Makeover"

I just finished reading a wonderful book titled, "Extreme Makeover" by Teresa Tomeo. It is all thanks to my friend, Emily (it is my Christmas present from her) that I got to read the book.

I highly recommend this to all women, especially Catholic women. I would recommend also men to read this book. For it is not just about how women are being conformed to the culture but how men, too are being conformed by the actions of both.

I did find the majority of the book a great source of information, I felt myself devoted towards chapters seven and eight though. These two chapters really reflected upon a great examination of myself. It was a hard swallow, but it was the Holy Spirit I attribute for me to acknowledge that I need to take as Teresa calls a spa treatment for myself.

The one thing that literally was pulled out instantly was: "I am a daughter of the King". I remember Camille just two days ago reminding me this over and over again. Why would she remind me this, because I have low self-esteem and I was very depressed to the point where I was beating myself so much it was scary. I have been trying my best to not allow what I grew up with overcome what I know to be true, that I am daughter of the King and that I loved by Him too.

I know this is a short entry, but before I leave this I want to copy and past Tomeo's Spiritual Beauty Plan (if you have the book please check out page 157):

  • See yourself first and foremost as a daughter of the King.
  • Recieve the Sacrament of Reconciliation regulary (favorite quote from that section was: "God loves us right where we are at, but He also loves us too much to leave us there.")
  • Make a concerted effort to silence the noise in your life
  • Remember that the Blessed Mother is watching you.
  • Brush up on your Catholicism.
  • Remember that ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ (something St. Jerome said)
  • When it comes to the news media, consider the source
I hope that I can use this Spiritual Beauty Plan, and I will post how I am doing. I like I mentioned earlier I was not wanting to make this short, but got to get some of my wonderful laundry done.

God Bless,

Saint Nicholas

Today is the feast of Saint Nicholas, the Saint that consumerism highlighted and exploit. Today is his true day of coming and bringing gifts to the children of need. But there are things about this Saint that many know little about, but I guess for this baby Catholic it is just not circulated enough to be heard.

I was told that Saint Nicholas was at one of the councils and when a Cardinal was proclaiming heresy, Saint Nicholas came up and either punched or slapped in front the whole of the Church. That right there get my attention and then reminds me how passionate the Truth can be for many of the Saints.

I have learned from many Saints that they did not back down from proclaiming the Truth, from slapping a Cardinal (St. Nicholas), Speaking to the Pope to come back to Rome (St. Catherine of Siena) to discussing and preaching until the early hours of daylight to a bartender (St. Dominic) and more!

We must do the same, it might not be a physical slap, but slap in the face. We do this by our examples, blogs written on heresies that are being rooted into society, our peaceful protests, and of course preaching in discussions and whenever we can. Prayer is another slap in the face. It is by our love for humanity and creation.

What made St. Nicholas famous was his giving to the poor all he could, giving presents to the poor, but the greatest gift he gave to all those he touched and still touches is he ultimate unselfish love for God and Man. May this great Saint be remembered as just that, a great Saint not a commericalism product.

God Bless,

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Advent brings wonderful gifts...

Advent is the beginning of the new year for Catholics, and we get a wonderful gift this Advent; a new translation of the Mass.

There are a few loud people who are upset with this new translation, claiming the previous one was just fine. Yes, it was just fine, well just not good enough in my opinion. I have been excited about this since the news hit my ears which happened during Lent if I am correct. Especially when I could see where the English was not matching with other languages of the same Mass, how can we say the same Mass is being said all around the world when in fact the English is slightly different?

One of the big things that I love is Nicene Creed, instead of saying we believe, which if you think about it, did many Catholic collective say they truly believe in the creed; so, now we respond, I believe. Quite frankly, I love it; this is where every Catholic can say in their own admittance that they believe in what the creed states, not a collective that many just repeat because others say it. I may be only a baby Catholic, but I would rather in great confidence say I believe than we.

There are other things I love, consubstantial another great, and that bothers some. Why? And what about people getting mad because they cannot say and also with you, come on, have you read the German or for that matter the Latin, they say and also with your spirit. If I seem rude, but get off your high horse and humility would be a good thing for you.

For those on the fence, allow this translation to sink in, know that the new translation was to give a more accurate translation of the Mass of the Latin to English. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you through the Mass, it is alright to make mistakes, but take the effort to read, contemplate, and pray about this new translation before you become like those who are literally going after this new translation like it is a rated M thing or something.

Another gift that I received with the start of Advent is of now saying Liturgy of the Hours in the morning with my godmother, sister, and best friend, Camille. Sitting in the living room with my Advent candle lit, and praying with Camille through the phone is an amazing feeling for me.

As I contemplated this I remind myself that this helps to push myself to pray more often and find the Lord speaking to me through prayers. My only hope is that this continues, for I believe it will help with my spiritual growth, but also help keep up strength with living in an environment that can be toxic for me.

Now that it is December I can use my Magnificat. Great! To be able after almost I think two months of no Magnificat I felt that I was losing touch of my prayers, because the Magnificat was my daily bible readings with the Liturgy of the Hours, plus there are always great writings by the Laity of the Church, Saints, Blesseds, and Religious (Priests and Sisters). Today was no exception.

Today’s meditation was from Fr. Alfred Delp, SJ who was a martyr of the World War II. I remember Camille buying a book by Fr. Delp, but this was to be the first time I actually read any of his work. I would love to re-write the excerpt and I will highlight my favorite lines. (If you all don’t mind)

“The Grace to Listen to the Lord’s Words”

That God would become a Mother’s son and that a woman could walk upon this earth, her body consecrated as a holy temple and tabernacle for God, is truly the earth’s culmination and the fulfillment of its expectation…

Oh, that this was granted to the earth, to bring forth such fruit? That the world was permitted to enter into the presence of God through the sheltering warmth, as well as the helpful and reliable patronage of her motherly heart!

The gray horizons must light up. Only the foreground is screaming so loudly and penetratingly. Farther back, where it has to do with things that really count, the situation is already changing. The woman has conceived the Child, sheltered him under her heart, and has given birth to her Son. The world has come under a different law. All these are not merely one-time historical events upon which our salvation rests. They are simultaneously the model figures and events that announced to us the new order of things, of life, of our existence…

At a deeper level of being, even our times and our destiny bear the blessing and the mystery of God. The most important thing is to wait, to be able to wait, until their hour comes…

Let us pray for the openness and willingness to hear the warning prophets of the Lord and to overcome the devastation of life through conversion of heart.Let us not shun and suppress the earnest words of the calling voices, or those who are our executioners today may be our accusers once again tomorrow, because we silenced the truth.

Once again, let us kneel down and pray for keen eyes capable of seeing God’s messengers of annunciation, for vigilant hearts wise enough to perceive the words of the promise. The world is more than its burden, and life is more than the sum of its gray days. The golden threads of the genuine reality are already shining through everywhere. Let us know this, and let us, ourselves, be comforting messengers. Hope grows through the one who is himself a person of the hope and the promise.

Advent is the time of the promise, not yet the fulfillment. We are still standing in the middle of the whole thing, in the logical relentlessness and inevitability of destiny…

The sounds of devastation and destruction, the cries of self-importance and arrogance, the weeping of despair and powerlessness still fill the world. Yet, standing silently, all along the horizon are the eternal realities with their ago-old longing. The first gentle light of the glorious abundance to come is already shining above thing…This is today. And tomorrow the angels will relate loudly and jubilantly what has happened, and we will know it and will be blessed if we have believed and trusted in Advent.

God Bless,

Saint Edmund Campion

Though today is the first Thursday of Advent, Camille and I decided to pray a memorial feasts that the Church does not obligate in the Calendar. Camille wanted to pray this memorial feast for a Dominican Sister we know from the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist.

What Camille told me of this little unknown Saint is this, his name Edmund Campion, a Jesuit, martyr.

Saint Edmund was living during the time of Queen Elizabeth and renounces his Catholic faith and proclaimed Elizabeth head of the Church. It is said (thanks for the information I looked up) that when he was studying in Ireland he learned that he made an error and came back to the Church. He became a Jesuit priest.

In 1580 St. Edmund came back to his home country (even though he knew he might become captured and killed for being a Catholic priest) with another Jesuit priest on mission in England. St. Edmund was betrayed and captured; sent to the Tower of London, it was when he still refused to renounce his Catholic faith that he was hung, drawn, quartered at Tyburn. England dubbed it a charge of treason, but his only crime was being a Catholic priest.

When I read his story just recently it makes me pray that St. Edmund and those martyrs, especially of England and even Germany to pray for me, for I see the United States of America becoming England, except it is not to renounce Catholicism to become Anglican, no, renounce your faith and become secularist. It is these martyrs that give the true meaning of defending your freedom, even if unto death.

Pray for us, St. Edmund Campion. For more information check out this link: St. Edmund's Biography